Here’s a look at this week’s featured matchup:
The Champs AGAIN (5-3) vs. MotorBoatin Son of a (5-3)
Projected Scores: Scott (134.10) – Milton (115.67)
This should be the week where each will get to really see how their blockbuster deal worked out for their teams (depending if Parker and Addai play). The most productive piece out of that deal thus far for Milton was Steve Smith who is also currently on a bye this week.
Project Winner: MotoBoatin Son of a
On paper, Scot should destroy Milton this week. But I really like his matchups. Melwelde Moore has rushed for 303 yrds and 3 td’s in his last 3 games, Kurt Warner faces the Rams defense with Boldin and Fitzgerald in mid season form, and you have to like Addai against the Pats defense, even a 75% healthy Addai. Adrain Peterson will have a big game for Llyod, but there’s still a question mark on Michael Turner wheather he can play the big game or not, and you don’t know what your gonna get out of Jay Cutler this week with a banged up finger on his throwing hand. With that said I leave you all with this: “Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?”
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
10-29-08 Prediction Standings
Here’s the results fromWeek 8’s Prediction Picks:
Scott (4-2)
Brandon (4-2)
Clint (4-2)
Derek (3-3)
Mike (3-3)
Milton (2-4)
Shawn (1-0)
Conan (1-0)
Matt (1-0)
Kyle (0-1)
Randy (0-0) DNP
CJ (0-0) DNP
Here are the standings for the season thus far:
1. Derek (29-15)
2. Scott (27-15)
3. Milton (21-27)
4. Mike (14-11)
5. Kyle (13-12)
6. Brandon (11-6)
7. Shawn (9-7)
8. Clint (7-6)
9. CJ (5-0)
10. Randy (4-3)
11. Matt (4-5)
12. Conan (1-4)
Scott (4-2)
Brandon (4-2)
Clint (4-2)
Derek (3-3)
Mike (3-3)
Milton (2-4)
Shawn (1-0)
Conan (1-0)
Matt (1-0)
Kyle (0-1)
Randy (0-0) DNP
CJ (0-0) DNP
Here are the standings for the season thus far:
1. Derek (29-15)
2. Scott (27-15)
3. Milton (21-27)
4. Mike (14-11)
5. Kyle (13-12)
6. Brandon (11-6)
7. Shawn (9-7)
8. Clint (7-6)
9. CJ (5-0)
10. Randy (4-3)
11. Matt (4-5)
12. Conan (1-4)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Week 8 Results
Week 8 is over and down with. Playoff teams are starting to take shape. Here is a recap of this past weekend’s action.
Optimus Prime 183.35
The Jew Crew 143.30
In this week’s featured matchup, I accomplished what I sought out to do. I ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED THE JEW!!!!!! MUHAHAHA. MUHAHAHA. MUHAHAHA. “Welcome Back” Anquan Boldin had 2 td catches in his return, while Drew Brees lit the Chargers up like a Christmas tree. Tough break for the Jew as he puts up a 143 and still loses. Oh well, no remorse here. I am now a strong 6-2 on the year while the Jew goes to 3-5.
Afternoon Sex Break 141.70
JacksSmirkingRevenge 100.05
Big C must have been thanking me this week after I talked him into starting Donnie Avery over Devery Henderson. Avery led the way for Sex Break with 37 points while the McNabb/Cotechery attack was not enough for Brandon this week. I still predicted Afternoon Sex Break to lose this week so I’m not a complete fantasy genius after my Avery pick. Big C is looking to make a strong run at the playoffs at 3-5 while Brandon goes to .500 with a 4-4 record.
Team Ramrod 87.25
River Rats 126.35
Shawn got another rod rammed up his ass this week, this time from Mike. All you have to know from this matchup is that Phillip Rivers can make it rain!!!!! Shawn is predicting a win next week but Optimus Prime is looking forward to beating Shawn in week 9 despite having Brees and Gore on bye weeks. Mike has a tough matchup next week, in a week that could ultimately decide who finishes the season with the best overall record. The River Rats are now 7-1 on the year while team Ramrod is on the opposite end of the spectrum at 1-7.
jew crew enemy 92.30
Down with the Enemy 149.15
This matchup was a joke. Moniz - are you serious? Did you really start McFadden who was out for Sunday? Milton absolutely crushed Moniz this week. This wasn’t even close. Steve Smith and Kurt Warner both had another big week for Down with the Enemy who now improves to 5-3 on the year. Jew Crew Enemy is now 2-6.
The Champs AGAIN 152.80
I Heart Porn 94.55
The clock struck midnight on CJ this week. The backups win. I can’t believe it. Only against CJ’s team would a team that’s starting all backup players would win. Wait, not only win but destroy! I think it might be time for CJ to start shopping LT and Braylon Edwards before the November 22 trade deadline. Scotty is now 5-3 while CJ goes to 4-4.
Irish 98.65
McLoving Life 133.30
Randy is making a fast run to the top. A win over Mike next week and he will be a game out of 1st place. Chad Pennington and Roddy White led the way for McLoving Life while the Peyton to Wayne combo continues to suck for Irish. Clint – are you gonna come to the Colts Playoff Elimination party next weekend at Gillette Stadium? Randy is now 5-3 on the year while Clint falls to 3-5.
Optimus Prime 183.35
The Jew Crew 143.30
In this week’s featured matchup, I accomplished what I sought out to do. I ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED THE JEW!!!!!! MUHAHAHA. MUHAHAHA. MUHAHAHA. “Welcome Back” Anquan Boldin had 2 td catches in his return, while Drew Brees lit the Chargers up like a Christmas tree. Tough break for the Jew as he puts up a 143 and still loses. Oh well, no remorse here. I am now a strong 6-2 on the year while the Jew goes to 3-5.
Afternoon Sex Break 141.70
JacksSmirkingRevenge 100.05
Big C must have been thanking me this week after I talked him into starting Donnie Avery over Devery Henderson. Avery led the way for Sex Break with 37 points while the McNabb/Cotechery attack was not enough for Brandon this week. I still predicted Afternoon Sex Break to lose this week so I’m not a complete fantasy genius after my Avery pick. Big C is looking to make a strong run at the playoffs at 3-5 while Brandon goes to .500 with a 4-4 record.
Team Ramrod 87.25
River Rats 126.35
Shawn got another rod rammed up his ass this week, this time from Mike. All you have to know from this matchup is that Phillip Rivers can make it rain!!!!! Shawn is predicting a win next week but Optimus Prime is looking forward to beating Shawn in week 9 despite having Brees and Gore on bye weeks. Mike has a tough matchup next week, in a week that could ultimately decide who finishes the season with the best overall record. The River Rats are now 7-1 on the year while team Ramrod is on the opposite end of the spectrum at 1-7.
jew crew enemy 92.30
Down with the Enemy 149.15
This matchup was a joke. Moniz - are you serious? Did you really start McFadden who was out for Sunday? Milton absolutely crushed Moniz this week. This wasn’t even close. Steve Smith and Kurt Warner both had another big week for Down with the Enemy who now improves to 5-3 on the year. Jew Crew Enemy is now 2-6.
The Champs AGAIN 152.80
I Heart Porn 94.55
The clock struck midnight on CJ this week. The backups win. I can’t believe it. Only against CJ’s team would a team that’s starting all backup players would win. Wait, not only win but destroy! I think it might be time for CJ to start shopping LT and Braylon Edwards before the November 22 trade deadline. Scotty is now 5-3 while CJ goes to 4-4.
Irish 98.65
McLoving Life 133.30
Randy is making a fast run to the top. A win over Mike next week and he will be a game out of 1st place. Chad Pennington and Roddy White led the way for McLoving Life while the Peyton to Wayne combo continues to suck for Irish. Clint – are you gonna come to the Colts Playoff Elimination party next weekend at Gillette Stadium? Randy is now 5-3 on the year while Clint falls to 3-5.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Week 8 Featured Matchup
I almost forgot to do this for this week. Here is this week’s featured matchup.
Optimus Prime (5-2) vs. The Jew Crew (3-4)
Projected Scores: Derek (132.75) – Kyle (129.94)
You’ve left me no choice Kyle but to destroy you this week. You thought it hurt last Thursday when I drilled you? Wait and see what it feels like after this Sunday. Get that flying squirrel prepared buddy.
Projected Winner: Optimus Prime
AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE OPTIMUS PRIME SAID SO!!!!!
Optimus Prime (5-2) vs. The Jew Crew (3-4)
Projected Scores: Derek (132.75) – Kyle (129.94)
You’ve left me no choice Kyle but to destroy you this week. You thought it hurt last Thursday when I drilled you? Wait and see what it feels like after this Sunday. Get that flying squirrel prepared buddy.
Projected Winner: Optimus Prime
AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE OPTIMUS PRIME SAID SO!!!!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
10-23-08 Prediction Standings
Here are the results from last week’s Prediction Picks:
Derek (6-0)
Scott (5-1)
Mike (4-2)
Brandon (4-2)
Shawn (4-2)
Kyle (3-3)
Milton (3-3)
Chris (1-0)
Matt (0-1)
Conan (0-1)
Clint (0-1)
Randy (0-0)
Here are the season standings after factoring in last weeks totals:
1. Derek (26-12)
2. Scott (23-13)
3. Milton (19-23)
4. Kyle (13-11)
5. Mike (11-8)
6. Shawn (8-7)
7. Brandon (7-5)
8. CJ (5-0)
9. Randy (4-3)
10. Clint (3-4)
11. Matt (3-5)
12. Conan (0-4)
Derek (6-0)
Scott (5-1)
Mike (4-2)
Brandon (4-2)
Shawn (4-2)
Kyle (3-3)
Milton (3-3)
Chris (1-0)
Matt (0-1)
Conan (0-1)
Clint (0-1)
Randy (0-0)
Here are the season standings after factoring in last weeks totals:
1. Derek (26-12)
2. Scott (23-13)
3. Milton (19-23)
4. Kyle (13-11)
5. Mike (11-8)
6. Shawn (8-7)
7. Brandon (7-5)
8. CJ (5-0)
9. Randy (4-3)
10. Clint (3-4)
11. Matt (3-5)
12. Conan (0-4)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Week 7 Results
Here’s a look at what happened in week 7.
The Jew Crew 119.75
River Rats 171.80
Is there anyone out there that can beat Mike? With another massive score, the River Rats went all Holocaust on the Jew Crew in this week's featured matchup. As long as Clinton Portis keeps getting the ball, Mike should breeze easily into the playoffs with the #1 seed. Mike is now 6-1 on the year while the Jew falls under .500 to 3-4 with will probably suffer another dominating loss next week.
Team Ramrod 118.95
McLoving Reggie Bush 146.85
Shawn puts up his highest score in god knows how long but it was not enough to take down Randy despite losing Reggie Bush for much of the game. Steven Jackson returned to form putting up over 48 points, and his Chicago Bears defense put up 22 points despite giving up 41 to the Minnesota Vikings. Randy is now 4-3 on the year while Shawn falls to 1-6.
Optimus Prime 105.65
JacksSmirkingRevenge 132.25
I knew I didn’t stand a chance this week but I can’t believe I lost the way I did. Drew Brees and Frank Gore picked up 16 points combined for me in a week in which if I had any kind of decent production from them I probably might have had a shot at winning this week. Brandon enjoyed a nice MNF game from Matt Cassel and Wes Welker picked up his 1st TD catch of the season. With the return of Anquan Boldin and Kevin Curtis, look for my team to return to form and head back into contention for the overall lead with the River Rats (not to be a homer or anything). JacksSmirkingRevenge is now 4-3 on the year while Optimus Prime falls to 5-2.
Afternoon Sex Break 142.10
Down with the Enemy 158.35
Big C had a nice balanced attack going this week but the one move he didn’t make is the one that killed him. LenDale White and his 41 points were left on the bench this week for Julius Jones and his whopping 4 points. If Big C can get some consistency out of Randy Moss in the next few weeks, he could be poised to make a run here. Down with the Enemy (aka Need More Squirrel) had big games from the recently acquired Steve Smith, Chris Johnson, and Mewelde Moore who was claimed from free agency in result of Willie Parker going down with a knee injury. Afternoon Sex Break falls to 2-5 on the year while Down with the Enemy goes to a strong 4-3.
jew crew enemy 76.90
I Heart Porn 106.30
The hottest team currently in the league wins again. After a dreadful 0-3 start, I Heart Porn has rattled off 4 straight wins including wins against the River Rats and Optimus Prime. An amazing feat this week despite getting only 9 points from Braylon Edwards and 9 points from LT. I Heart Porn is now 4-3 on the year while Moniz continues to fall in the other direction at 2-5.
The Champs AGAIN 125.50
Irish 86.35
Jay Cutler might have sucked this week but AP picked up the slack with an impressive 28.50 points. Irish is loaded with Indianapolis Colts players that sucked this week, and wasn’t able to put up a fight against The Champs AGAIN. Irish is now 3-4 on the year while The Champs AGAIN jump to 4-3.
The Jew Crew 119.75
River Rats 171.80
Is there anyone out there that can beat Mike? With another massive score, the River Rats went all Holocaust on the Jew Crew in this week's featured matchup. As long as Clinton Portis keeps getting the ball, Mike should breeze easily into the playoffs with the #1 seed. Mike is now 6-1 on the year while the Jew falls under .500 to 3-4 with will probably suffer another dominating loss next week.
Team Ramrod 118.95
McLoving Reggie Bush 146.85
Shawn puts up his highest score in god knows how long but it was not enough to take down Randy despite losing Reggie Bush for much of the game. Steven Jackson returned to form putting up over 48 points, and his Chicago Bears defense put up 22 points despite giving up 41 to the Minnesota Vikings. Randy is now 4-3 on the year while Shawn falls to 1-6.
Optimus Prime 105.65
JacksSmirkingRevenge 132.25
I knew I didn’t stand a chance this week but I can’t believe I lost the way I did. Drew Brees and Frank Gore picked up 16 points combined for me in a week in which if I had any kind of decent production from them I probably might have had a shot at winning this week. Brandon enjoyed a nice MNF game from Matt Cassel and Wes Welker picked up his 1st TD catch of the season. With the return of Anquan Boldin and Kevin Curtis, look for my team to return to form and head back into contention for the overall lead with the River Rats (not to be a homer or anything). JacksSmirkingRevenge is now 4-3 on the year while Optimus Prime falls to 5-2.
Afternoon Sex Break 142.10
Down with the Enemy 158.35
Big C had a nice balanced attack going this week but the one move he didn’t make is the one that killed him. LenDale White and his 41 points were left on the bench this week for Julius Jones and his whopping 4 points. If Big C can get some consistency out of Randy Moss in the next few weeks, he could be poised to make a run here. Down with the Enemy (aka Need More Squirrel) had big games from the recently acquired Steve Smith, Chris Johnson, and Mewelde Moore who was claimed from free agency in result of Willie Parker going down with a knee injury. Afternoon Sex Break falls to 2-5 on the year while Down with the Enemy goes to a strong 4-3.
jew crew enemy 76.90
I Heart Porn 106.30
The hottest team currently in the league wins again. After a dreadful 0-3 start, I Heart Porn has rattled off 4 straight wins including wins against the River Rats and Optimus Prime. An amazing feat this week despite getting only 9 points from Braylon Edwards and 9 points from LT. I Heart Porn is now 4-3 on the year while Moniz continues to fall in the other direction at 2-5.
The Champs AGAIN 125.50
Irish 86.35
Jay Cutler might have sucked this week but AP picked up the slack with an impressive 28.50 points. Irish is loaded with Indianapolis Colts players that sucked this week, and wasn’t able to put up a fight against The Champs AGAIN. Irish is now 3-4 on the year while The Champs AGAIN jump to 4-3.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Week 7 Predictions
Here’s a look at my week 7 predictions.
The Jew Crew (3-3) vs. River Rats (5-1)
Projected Scores: Kyle (94.50) – Mike (119.20)
After jumping into 1st place* (by points for) last week, Mike will try to repeat a dominant week 6 performance and put a trash talking, Tony Romo loving, flying squirrel (Kyle) back in his place this week.
My Projected Winner: River Rats
The Champs AGAIN (3-3) vs. Irish (3-3)
Projected Scores: Scott (119.32) – Clint (122.56)
I love Scott’s acquisitions of Jay Cutler, Adrian Peterson, and Dallas Clark. With a little consistency, his team will no doubt be a top league contender.
My Projected Winner: The Champs AGAIN
Afternoon Sex Break (2-4) vs. Need More Squirrel (3-3)
Projected Scores: Conan (105.94) – (111.48)
Milton may regret making that blockbuster trade right now with both Joseph Addai and Willie Parker going down with injuries, but Mewelde Moore will fill in nicely this week at the flex spot. Addai and Parker will be alright going forward for Need More Squirrel. Conan is on the verge of acquiring Brandon Marshall and Ryan Grant which could totally change his team’s misfortune around. If this trade does go thru, Afternoon Sex Break will (mark my words) make the playoffs and quite possibly make a strong run at the title.
My Projected Winner: Need More Squirrel (until I see Marshall and Grant in Conan’s lineup, I’m going with the Squirrel)
Optimus Prime (5-1) vs. JacksSmirkingRevenge (3-3)
Project Scores: Derek (117.45 – Brandon (137.24)
Brandon put up a monster score last week (and somehow lost) and the majority of my team is questionable this week after the injury bug hit hard last week for Optimus Prime (4 of my players last week left with injuries).
My Projected Winner: JacksSmirkingRevenge (yes I am picking against my team this week, hopefully I’m wrong)
Jew Crew Enemy (2-4) vs. I Heart Porn (3-3)
Projected Scores: Matt (122.99) – CJ (114.54)
I have to go with the hot hand here and after 3 straight wins, Braylon Edwards finally starting to break out, I’m on the CJ and I Heart Porn train. Besides, who doesn’t love porn?
My Projected Winner: I Heart Porn (me too)
Team Ramrod (1-5) vs. McLoving Reggie Bush (3-3)
Projected Scores: Shawn (104.94) – Randy (100.42)
Don’t ask me why but I decided to go with the guy who most desperately needs a win this week. Shawn I hope you like the new logo I created for you.
My Projected Winner: Team Ramrod
The Jew Crew (3-3) vs. River Rats (5-1)
Projected Scores: Kyle (94.50) – Mike (119.20)
After jumping into 1st place* (by points for) last week, Mike will try to repeat a dominant week 6 performance and put a trash talking, Tony Romo loving, flying squirrel (Kyle) back in his place this week.
My Projected Winner: River Rats
The Champs AGAIN (3-3) vs. Irish (3-3)
Projected Scores: Scott (119.32) – Clint (122.56)
I love Scott’s acquisitions of Jay Cutler, Adrian Peterson, and Dallas Clark. With a little consistency, his team will no doubt be a top league contender.
My Projected Winner: The Champs AGAIN
Afternoon Sex Break (2-4) vs. Need More Squirrel (3-3)
Projected Scores: Conan (105.94) – (111.48)
Milton may regret making that blockbuster trade right now with both Joseph Addai and Willie Parker going down with injuries, but Mewelde Moore will fill in nicely this week at the flex spot. Addai and Parker will be alright going forward for Need More Squirrel. Conan is on the verge of acquiring Brandon Marshall and Ryan Grant which could totally change his team’s misfortune around. If this trade does go thru, Afternoon Sex Break will (mark my words) make the playoffs and quite possibly make a strong run at the title.
My Projected Winner: Need More Squirrel (until I see Marshall and Grant in Conan’s lineup, I’m going with the Squirrel)
Optimus Prime (5-1) vs. JacksSmirkingRevenge (3-3)
Project Scores: Derek (117.45 – Brandon (137.24)
Brandon put up a monster score last week (and somehow lost) and the majority of my team is questionable this week after the injury bug hit hard last week for Optimus Prime (4 of my players last week left with injuries).
My Projected Winner: JacksSmirkingRevenge (yes I am picking against my team this week, hopefully I’m wrong)
Jew Crew Enemy (2-4) vs. I Heart Porn (3-3)
Projected Scores: Matt (122.99) – CJ (114.54)
I have to go with the hot hand here and after 3 straight wins, Braylon Edwards finally starting to break out, I’m on the CJ and I Heart Porn train. Besides, who doesn’t love porn?
My Projected Winner: I Heart Porn (me too)
Team Ramrod (1-5) vs. McLoving Reggie Bush (3-3)
Projected Scores: Shawn (104.94) – Randy (100.42)
Don’t ask me why but I decided to go with the guy who most desperately needs a win this week. Shawn I hope you like the new logo I created for you.
My Projected Winner: Team Ramrod
Week 7 Featured Matchup
Here’s a look at this weeks featured matchup.
The Jew Crew (3-3) vs. River Rats (5-1)
Projected Scores: Kyle (94.50) – Mike (119.20)
After jumping into 1st place* (by points for) last week, Mike will try to repeat a dominant week 6 performance and put a trash talking, Tony Romo loving, flying squirrel (Kyle) back in his place this week.
Projected Winner: River Rats
The Jew is starting no team defense this week and is relying on Ricky Williams at RB. Andre Johnson facing a Detroit Lions defense alone will probably be enough to demolish the Jew this week. Nevermind the league’s leading rusher Clinton Portis facing a week Cleveland Brown’s defense. The Jew Crew is spelled J-U-N-K with a capital J this week. I’m hoping the Jew pulls off a miracle this week because I need all the help I can get in hopes of staying in at least a tie for the league lead this week.
The Jew Crew (3-3) vs. River Rats (5-1)
Projected Scores: Kyle (94.50) – Mike (119.20)
After jumping into 1st place* (by points for) last week, Mike will try to repeat a dominant week 6 performance and put a trash talking, Tony Romo loving, flying squirrel (Kyle) back in his place this week.
Projected Winner: River Rats
The Jew is starting no team defense this week and is relying on Ricky Williams at RB. Andre Johnson facing a Detroit Lions defense alone will probably be enough to demolish the Jew this week. Nevermind the league’s leading rusher Clinton Portis facing a week Cleveland Brown’s defense. The Jew Crew is spelled J-U-N-K with a capital J this week. I’m hoping the Jew pulls off a miracle this week because I need all the help I can get in hopes of staying in at least a tie for the league lead this week.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Team Logos
I thought this would help the time pass by at work as I am bored off my ass so I have created logos for every team in the league.
Optimus Prime
Need More Squirrel
River Rats
McLoving Reggie Bush
The Jew Crew
The Champs AGAIN
Irish
Jew Crew Enemy
I Heart Porn
Team Ramrod
Afternoon Sex Break
JacksSmirkingRevenge
Optimus Prime
Need More Squirrel
River Rats
McLoving Reggie Bush
The Jew Crew
The Champs AGAIN
Irish
Jew Crew Enemy
I Heart Porn
Team Ramrod
Afternoon Sex Break
JacksSmirkingRevenge
Matchup Predictions Standings
Weekly Matchup Predictions Standings are currently posted for weeks 1-6 of the season.
TEAM (WINS-LOSS)
1. Derek (20-12)
2. Scott (18-12)
3. Milton (16-20)
4. Kyle (10-8)
5. Mike (7-6)
6. CJ (4-0)
7. Randy (4-3)
8. Shawn (4-5)
9. Brandon (3-3)
10. Clint (3-3)
11. Matt (3-4)
12. Conan (0-3)
TEAM (WINS-LOSS)
1. Derek (20-12)
2. Scott (18-12)
3. Milton (16-20)
4. Kyle (10-8)
5. Mike (7-6)
6. CJ (4-0)
7. Randy (4-3)
8. Shawn (4-5)
9. Brandon (3-3)
10. Clint (3-3)
11. Matt (3-4)
12. Conan (0-3)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Week 6 Results
Week 6 is over and done with and now things should really get interesting with injuries and bye weeks starting to factor into the season. To make matters worse we have a 7-way tie for 3rd place! After starting predictions this week for every matchup on hand, my record has now gone to 7-4 on the season. Always a good thing to be over .500 when you’re predicting matchups. If you would like to take a crack at the weekly matchups as well, email me your picks for the week and I will post them all to the blog site and we’ll keep track of everyone’s record that participates and see how you stack up against this self-proclaimed “fantasy guru” (even though my featured matchup pick and reasoning behind it went to sh*t last week). Here’s a recap of all the action.
Afternoon Sex Break 107.10
I Heart Porn 128.35
In this week’s featured matchup, CJ has now rattled off 3 wins in a row and has jumped from last place all the way to a tie for 3rd with a record of 3-3. Going into the MNF matchup I Heart Porn was trailing Afternoon Sex Break by 4.05 points with Brandon Jacobs going for Afternoon Sex Break and Braylon Edwards for I Heart Porn. The latter actually decided to show up for a game and play posting over 37 points for CJ and sending Afternoon Sex Break to 2-4 on the year. With Randy Moss not playing anything like a shadow of himself from a year ago, and Braylon Edwards starting to heat things up, this could be a case of two teams going in opposite directions.
Optimus Prime 127.70
Need More Squirrel 92.60
“No sacrifice, no victory. Auto bots, ROLL OUT!” That about sums up this win this week for my team, Optimus Prime (yes I am on a Transformers kick right now if you can’t tell). I was able to pull out a victory this week and go to 5-1 on the year but also lost Brandon Stokely to a concussion, Calvin Johnson to a concussion (although back next week), Fred Taylor to a head injury, and Felix Jones with a hamstring injury. Thank god none of these turned out to be serious but it was a scary Sunday that didn’t seem too promising. Milton also was part of a block buster deal that brought Steve Smith, Willie Parker, and Joseph Addai to Need More Squirrel in exchange for Adrian Peterson and Jay Cutler. Milton’s team is now balls deep and should be a sure lock to make playoffs with a strong possibility of making a deep run. Optimus Prime is now 5-1 on the year while Need More Squirrel falls 3-3.
THE JEWBAGS 88.50
Irish 116.65
I bite my tongue about everything I said about Clint’s team’s matchups this week. Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne lit up the Ravens secondary. Moniz – you disappoint me again young padawan. Are there any objections to when I say that Darren McFadden was the most overrated player to come out of the draft not named Vernon Gholston? Clint is now sitting in a nice position with a 3-3 record while Moniz falls to 2-4 on the year with no light at the end of the tunnel.
The Champs AGAIN 88.80
McLoving Reggie Bush 107.95
Randy may have edged Scott out in this week’s matchup, but Scott might have been the big winner at the end of the day Monday night landing “Big Game” Adrian Peterson along with Jay Cutler from Need More Squirrel in exchange for Joseph Addai, Willie Parker, and Steve Smith. Tony Romo and Reggie Bush led the way for Randy who now goes to 3-3 on the year but at a very high cost. Mcloving Reggie Bush QB Tony Romo is now out for a month after taking a punishing blow that eventually led to a Cowboy’s blocked punt TD and a loss. Scott is now also 3-3 on the season after this loss but the end of day trade could put Scott in a great position heading into the playoffs…if he can sneak in.
JacksSmirkingRevenge 158.20
River Rats 181.40
If you would have told me that one team would put up 158.20 points this week and still lose I would have bet the house against you. It’s a good thing that I don’t have a home or a mortgage for that matter because I would be living out of a card board box right now. Brandon was able to post one of the highest scores not only this week, but for the season as well with 158.20 points and still managed to lose this game to Mike and the River Rats who posted a ridiculous 181.40. Marian Barber and Thomas Jones combined for 4 TD scores for Brandon, while Philip Rivers, Clinton Portis, and Andre Johnson put up unimaginable numbers for Mike. Can you say ‘Juggernaut’? I’m afraid to play both after this week’s showings; in fact I even picked Brandon to beat me this week in week 7.
The Jew Crew 141.90
Team Ramrod 85.20
Fast forward to July 2009, “With the first selection in the 2009 Beer and Football on Sundays league draft, Shawn selects (fill in with top player for ’09). It’s starting to look that way for Shawn. He pretty much has to win out the remainder of the season to backdoor his way into the playoffs. All I can say is thank god he took Tom Brady because I wasn’t letting him slip by me with the next pick. How the hell did Kyle post a 141.90 with a team of scrubs and jack squat out of Amani Toomer? The Jew is now in good position for a playoff spot with a 3-3 record and Shawn is now 1-5 on the year and pretty much the closest thing that we have for a lottery pick for next year’s draft.
Afternoon Sex Break 107.10
I Heart Porn 128.35
In this week’s featured matchup, CJ has now rattled off 3 wins in a row and has jumped from last place all the way to a tie for 3rd with a record of 3-3. Going into the MNF matchup I Heart Porn was trailing Afternoon Sex Break by 4.05 points with Brandon Jacobs going for Afternoon Sex Break and Braylon Edwards for I Heart Porn. The latter actually decided to show up for a game and play posting over 37 points for CJ and sending Afternoon Sex Break to 2-4 on the year. With Randy Moss not playing anything like a shadow of himself from a year ago, and Braylon Edwards starting to heat things up, this could be a case of two teams going in opposite directions.
Optimus Prime 127.70
Need More Squirrel 92.60
“No sacrifice, no victory. Auto bots, ROLL OUT!” That about sums up this win this week for my team, Optimus Prime (yes I am on a Transformers kick right now if you can’t tell). I was able to pull out a victory this week and go to 5-1 on the year but also lost Brandon Stokely to a concussion, Calvin Johnson to a concussion (although back next week), Fred Taylor to a head injury, and Felix Jones with a hamstring injury. Thank god none of these turned out to be serious but it was a scary Sunday that didn’t seem too promising. Milton also was part of a block buster deal that brought Steve Smith, Willie Parker, and Joseph Addai to Need More Squirrel in exchange for Adrian Peterson and Jay Cutler. Milton’s team is now balls deep and should be a sure lock to make playoffs with a strong possibility of making a deep run. Optimus Prime is now 5-1 on the year while Need More Squirrel falls 3-3.
THE JEWBAGS 88.50
Irish 116.65
I bite my tongue about everything I said about Clint’s team’s matchups this week. Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne lit up the Ravens secondary. Moniz – you disappoint me again young padawan. Are there any objections to when I say that Darren McFadden was the most overrated player to come out of the draft not named Vernon Gholston? Clint is now sitting in a nice position with a 3-3 record while Moniz falls to 2-4 on the year with no light at the end of the tunnel.
The Champs AGAIN 88.80
McLoving Reggie Bush 107.95
Randy may have edged Scott out in this week’s matchup, but Scott might have been the big winner at the end of the day Monday night landing “Big Game” Adrian Peterson along with Jay Cutler from Need More Squirrel in exchange for Joseph Addai, Willie Parker, and Steve Smith. Tony Romo and Reggie Bush led the way for Randy who now goes to 3-3 on the year but at a very high cost. Mcloving Reggie Bush QB Tony Romo is now out for a month after taking a punishing blow that eventually led to a Cowboy’s blocked punt TD and a loss. Scott is now also 3-3 on the season after this loss but the end of day trade could put Scott in a great position heading into the playoffs…if he can sneak in.
JacksSmirkingRevenge 158.20
River Rats 181.40
If you would have told me that one team would put up 158.20 points this week and still lose I would have bet the house against you. It’s a good thing that I don’t have a home or a mortgage for that matter because I would be living out of a card board box right now. Brandon was able to post one of the highest scores not only this week, but for the season as well with 158.20 points and still managed to lose this game to Mike and the River Rats who posted a ridiculous 181.40. Marian Barber and Thomas Jones combined for 4 TD scores for Brandon, while Philip Rivers, Clinton Portis, and Andre Johnson put up unimaginable numbers for Mike. Can you say ‘Juggernaut’? I’m afraid to play both after this week’s showings; in fact I even picked Brandon to beat me this week in week 7.
The Jew Crew 141.90
Team Ramrod 85.20
Fast forward to July 2009, “With the first selection in the 2009 Beer and Football on Sundays league draft, Shawn selects (fill in with top player for ’09). It’s starting to look that way for Shawn. He pretty much has to win out the remainder of the season to backdoor his way into the playoffs. All I can say is thank god he took Tom Brady because I wasn’t letting him slip by me with the next pick. How the hell did Kyle post a 141.90 with a team of scrubs and jack squat out of Amani Toomer? The Jew is now in good position for a playoff spot with a 3-3 record and Shawn is now 1-5 on the year and pretty much the closest thing that we have for a lottery pick for next year’s draft.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Week 6 Predictions
Because the Jew likes reading my projected winners so much, I decided to start taking a crack at all the games this week.
Optimus Prime vs. Need More Squirrel
Projected Winner: Optimus prime
After a tough loss last week, my team WILL rebound this week. I’m predicting big weeks for Santana Moss and Drew Brees after disappointing weeks for both last week.
Afternoon Sex Break vs. I Heart Porn
Projected Winner: Afternoon Sex Break
See featured matchup post.
THE JEWBAGS vs. Irish
Projected Winner: THE JEWBAGS
Terrell Owens against Arizona for Moniz. Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, and Anthony Gonzalez against Baltimore for Clint. Enough said.
The Champs AGAIN vs. McLoving Reggie Bush
Projected Winner: McLoving Reggie Bush
I know my brother is going to be pissed for picking against him again but Randy is consistently at the top in points scored. Look for Steve Slaton and Michael Turner to be busts this week (Sorry Scott).
JacksSmirkingRevenge vs. River Rats
Projected Winner: River Rats
I love Mike’s RB matchups this week but Donovan McNabb could make things interesting this week in this matchup.
The Jew Crew vs. Team Ramrod
Projected Winner: The Jew Crew
Another potential sloppy sex matchup so I picked this one by flipping a coin (in which the Jew proceeded to steal after it hit the ground). I’m hoping Shawn pulls off the upset here to make things really interesting.
Optimus Prime vs. Need More Squirrel
Projected Winner: Optimus prime
After a tough loss last week, my team WILL rebound this week. I’m predicting big weeks for Santana Moss and Drew Brees after disappointing weeks for both last week.
Afternoon Sex Break vs. I Heart Porn
Projected Winner: Afternoon Sex Break
See featured matchup post.
THE JEWBAGS vs. Irish
Projected Winner: THE JEWBAGS
Terrell Owens against Arizona for Moniz. Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, and Anthony Gonzalez against Baltimore for Clint. Enough said.
The Champs AGAIN vs. McLoving Reggie Bush
Projected Winner: McLoving Reggie Bush
I know my brother is going to be pissed for picking against him again but Randy is consistently at the top in points scored. Look for Steve Slaton and Michael Turner to be busts this week (Sorry Scott).
JacksSmirkingRevenge vs. River Rats
Projected Winner: River Rats
I love Mike’s RB matchups this week but Donovan McNabb could make things interesting this week in this matchup.
The Jew Crew vs. Team Ramrod
Projected Winner: The Jew Crew
Another potential sloppy sex matchup so I picked this one by flipping a coin (in which the Jew proceeded to steal after it hit the ground). I’m hoping Shawn pulls off the upset here to make things really interesting.
Week 6 Featured Matchup
This week’s featured matchup is:
Afternoon Sex Break (2-3) vs. I Heart Porn (2-3)
Projected Scores: Big C (111.10) – CJ (96.01)
CJ looks to carry the momentum into week 6 after knocking off the top two teams within the last two weeks while Conan looks to go balls deep with another @$$ raping. This should be an interesting Sunday filled with violent text messages.
Projected Winner: Afternoon Sex Break
I’m sorry about I absolutely hate the matchups this week for I Heart Porn. In fact, I don’t expect this one to be even close. LT is obviously playing with a toe that’s more banged up than he and the chargers are leading on. Eddie Royal is at best a game time decision and the explosive factor is most likely gone with a f’d up ankle. I recently looked up “Interception” in the dictionary the other day and here’s what it said: Interception – (noun) – Detroit Lions starting quarterback Jon Kitna. And I don’t expect Edgerrin James to see a lot of work this week in what will probably be a shootout with Dallas. I won’t even go there with Braylon Edwards this season. I wanted to pick I Heart Porn this week because I hate Moss and Gates this week with their teams squaring off Sunday and Aaron Rogers is a big question mark with his shoulder injury this week. But CJ’s matchups are even worse. This game could end up being like sex with a fat chick…..sloppy.
Afternoon Sex Break (2-3) vs. I Heart Porn (2-3)
Projected Scores: Big C (111.10) – CJ (96.01)
CJ looks to carry the momentum into week 6 after knocking off the top two teams within the last two weeks while Conan looks to go balls deep with another @$$ raping. This should be an interesting Sunday filled with violent text messages.
Projected Winner: Afternoon Sex Break
I’m sorry about I absolutely hate the matchups this week for I Heart Porn. In fact, I don’t expect this one to be even close. LT is obviously playing with a toe that’s more banged up than he and the chargers are leading on. Eddie Royal is at best a game time decision and the explosive factor is most likely gone with a f’d up ankle. I recently looked up “Interception” in the dictionary the other day and here’s what it said: Interception – (noun) – Detroit Lions starting quarterback Jon Kitna. And I don’t expect Edgerrin James to see a lot of work this week in what will probably be a shootout with Dallas. I won’t even go there with Braylon Edwards this season. I wanted to pick I Heart Porn this week because I hate Moss and Gates this week with their teams squaring off Sunday and Aaron Rogers is a big question mark with his shoulder injury this week. But CJ’s matchups are even worse. This game could end up being like sex with a fat chick…..sloppy.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Week 5 Results
More upsets and surprises in week 5. Here is a recap of all the action.
Kyle Doesn't Know 123.80
River Rats 157.55
In this week’s featured matchup, Mike rebounded from a tough loss last week to gain a share of first place this week with a win over Kyle Doesn’t Know. Thank you Mike for helping me improve to 3-2 on the season with my 3rd straight projected pick.
Time2MakeTheDonuts 103.50
I Heart Porn 111.85
I’m still waiting for Santana Moss to do something this week. What the hell happened to MegaTron? An awful week for my team especially when your opponent’s TE is sitting on the bench and LT puts up under 3 points. CJ now has his longest winning streak in 2 years (2 games) and is no longer sitting at the bottom.
The Jew Crew 145.70
McLoving Reggie Bush 161.30
Randy posted high score this week and now leads the league in points but still is somehow 2-3 in the standings. Things look to get worse for the Jew as Brian Westbrook now has 2 broken ribs and still no clear cut choice for a QB.
Afternoon Sex Break 133.35
Irish 104.85
One simple text message that I received from Big C on Monday morning describes how this matchup went. “Tell Clint I won’t even charge for his curb stomping this week.” Clint – Big C says “Hi”.
THE JEWBAGS 119.50
The Champs AGAIN 123.10
Scott’s RB tandem of Steve Slaton, Michael Turner, and Joseph Addai catapult him into contention with a 3-2 record while Moniz falls to 2-3 on the year.
JacksSmirkingRevenge 86.00
Team Ramrod 74.00
And finally, in the Ugly Bowl this week, Brandon comes out on top of this who wants to lose more matchup. Brandon moves to 3-2 and Shawn…well….better luck next season buddy.
Kyle Doesn't Know 123.80
River Rats 157.55
In this week’s featured matchup, Mike rebounded from a tough loss last week to gain a share of first place this week with a win over Kyle Doesn’t Know. Thank you Mike for helping me improve to 3-2 on the season with my 3rd straight projected pick.
Time2MakeTheDonuts 103.50
I Heart Porn 111.85
I’m still waiting for Santana Moss to do something this week. What the hell happened to MegaTron? An awful week for my team especially when your opponent’s TE is sitting on the bench and LT puts up under 3 points. CJ now has his longest winning streak in 2 years (2 games) and is no longer sitting at the bottom.
The Jew Crew 145.70
McLoving Reggie Bush 161.30
Randy posted high score this week and now leads the league in points but still is somehow 2-3 in the standings. Things look to get worse for the Jew as Brian Westbrook now has 2 broken ribs and still no clear cut choice for a QB.
Afternoon Sex Break 133.35
Irish 104.85
One simple text message that I received from Big C on Monday morning describes how this matchup went. “Tell Clint I won’t even charge for his curb stomping this week.” Clint – Big C says “Hi”.
THE JEWBAGS 119.50
The Champs AGAIN 123.10
Scott’s RB tandem of Steve Slaton, Michael Turner, and Joseph Addai catapult him into contention with a 3-2 record while Moniz falls to 2-3 on the year.
JacksSmirkingRevenge 86.00
Team Ramrod 74.00
And finally, in the Ugly Bowl this week, Brandon comes out on top of this who wants to lose more matchup. Brandon moves to 3-2 and Shawn…well….better luck next season buddy.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Week 5 featured matchup
I’m tired as f*ck and a little bit hung over this morning. With that being said, let’s take a look at this week’s featured matchup.
Kyle Doesn’t Know (3-1) vs. River Rats (3-1)
Projected Scores: Milton (127.81 – Mike (114.28)
The winner will have sole position of 2nd place and possibly a tie for 1st depending on the outcome of the Time2MakeTheDonuts / I Heart Porn matchup.
Projected Winner: River Rats
On paper, everything is telling me to pick AP and Kyle Doesn’t Know. In fact, all week long I have picked Milt’s team to win this week. But after sitting here in my cubicle, bored as f*ck, I’ve been breaking down the matchups and I think I like Mike’s team to pull it out this week. Here’s my theory on this. I love the AP matchup against an awful Saints front 7 this week. Not to mention that running the ball is the only positive thing that the Vikings can do on offense. I also like the Eli Manning matchup against a heavily overrated Seahawks team (which might be one of the worst teams in the league in my opinion). Not to mention the fact that Eli is playing his way into a must start option every week for fantasy football. I don’t like the Correll Buckhalter matchup against the Skins this week. After beating Dallas last week, I think I am ready to jump on the Skins bandwagon. I think this game will turn into another shootout with the last team to score wins. Derrick Ward is a tough call. You never know what you’re going to get out of any Giants RB with a trio of backs getting touches. On the opposite side, Phillip Rivers will throw at least another 3 tds this week against peewee football Miami Dolphins (I have a feeling that LT will sh*t on my team this week). Matt Forte is facing the Lions defense and we all know what happens when any team faces the Lions defense. I like the Texans to pull off the upset this week and beat the Colts and I think Andre Johnson along with Steve Slaton will be a big part of that. Not to mention that Patrick Willis is good for at least 12 fantasy points a week which is absolutely absurd for a defensive player. So my pick is locked in, I am flip flopping, going against the numbers, and picking the River Rats to win this week. Come talk to me on Tuesday when my 3rd projected winner in a row is locked up. At that point I will be applying at ESPN for a Fantasy Guru Columnist position.
Kyle Doesn’t Know (3-1) vs. River Rats (3-1)
Projected Scores: Milton (127.81 – Mike (114.28)
The winner will have sole position of 2nd place and possibly a tie for 1st depending on the outcome of the Time2MakeTheDonuts / I Heart Porn matchup.
Projected Winner: River Rats
On paper, everything is telling me to pick AP and Kyle Doesn’t Know. In fact, all week long I have picked Milt’s team to win this week. But after sitting here in my cubicle, bored as f*ck, I’ve been breaking down the matchups and I think I like Mike’s team to pull it out this week. Here’s my theory on this. I love the AP matchup against an awful Saints front 7 this week. Not to mention that running the ball is the only positive thing that the Vikings can do on offense. I also like the Eli Manning matchup against a heavily overrated Seahawks team (which might be one of the worst teams in the league in my opinion). Not to mention the fact that Eli is playing his way into a must start option every week for fantasy football. I don’t like the Correll Buckhalter matchup against the Skins this week. After beating Dallas last week, I think I am ready to jump on the Skins bandwagon. I think this game will turn into another shootout with the last team to score wins. Derrick Ward is a tough call. You never know what you’re going to get out of any Giants RB with a trio of backs getting touches. On the opposite side, Phillip Rivers will throw at least another 3 tds this week against peewee football Miami Dolphins (I have a feeling that LT will sh*t on my team this week). Matt Forte is facing the Lions defense and we all know what happens when any team faces the Lions defense. I like the Texans to pull off the upset this week and beat the Colts and I think Andre Johnson along with Steve Slaton will be a big part of that. Not to mention that Patrick Willis is good for at least 12 fantasy points a week which is absolutely absurd for a defensive player. So my pick is locked in, I am flip flopping, going against the numbers, and picking the River Rats to win this week. Come talk to me on Tuesday when my 3rd projected winner in a row is locked up. At that point I will be applying at ESPN for a Fantasy Guru Columnist position.
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