A Dynasty is Born!

Congratulations to Scott for winning this year's Super Bowl and becoming Beer & Football on Sundays first dynasty!

2008 Beer and Football on Sundays Championshop Preview

It’s finally here. The week that every Fantasy Football manager plays for. Championship week. Two teams. One winner. One loser.

2008 Beer and Football on Sundays Championship:
The Champs AGAIN vs. Shocking The World

If the winner of this matchup was decided on team name changes, Milton would be the clear cut victor here. But it’s not, so let’s take a look at this matchup and how these two teams got here.

The Champs AGAIN

The first half of the season, this team was at best a .500 team. But a blockbuster deal involving Championship Game opponent Shocking The World, catapulted this team to the top and knocking on the door of becoming Beer and Football on Sundays first dynasty. Since the trade in Week 7, The Champs AGAIN have gone 9-0 and has averaged a score of 157.52. From acquiring Jay Cutler and Adrian Peterson via trade, and DeAngelo Williams from free agency, every move this team has made has turned into pure gold. Scott should be thankful that the DeAngelo Williams/Terrell Owens trade was vetoed because Williams has done nothing but produce since. This team is the clear cut favorite to repeat as champs again this season.

Shocking The World

It hurts to write this piece because this team beat my team to get into this position. Milton needed his top scoring week this week in order to get into the finals and he sure as hell got that with a 159.20. The Peterson/Cutler for Steve Smith/Willie Parker/Joseph Addai blockbuster that went down with Scott finally paid off for Milton as Steve Smith put up 40 points this week. This trade looked like a total bust for Milton, but with his key acquisition producing in the most important game for him, I’m sure he is viewing this trade as a win win scenario. Since the trade Shocking The World has gone a respectable 6-3, and has averaged a score of 136.06. Shocking The World goes into the Championship the clear cut underdog but will look to shock the world and dethrone The Champs AGAIN.

Power Projections: Week 14

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Fantasy: Start 'em Sit 'em

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2008 Playoff Preview

Congrats to me for squeaking out the regular season division championship by the hair on my chin after a horrible week 13 performance and Scott’s team again putting up big numbers. A sizable 130 point lead quickly shrunk to a measly 30 points. Also, congrats to Clint for securing the final playoff spot, and everyone else who made the playoffs. It was a long season and the standings were extremely close for the majority of the year. With that said, here’s a look at the first round playoff matchups.

(1) Optimus Prime vs. (8) Buster Douglas (aka Irish)

3 goals were set out for Optimus Prime at the beginning of the season. First, keep my key players off IR. I lost Anquan Boldin for a couple weeks this season, but he quickly returned back and became the most deadly receiver in fantasy football this season. Goal #1 accomplished. Second, capture the regular season title. Checkmate, even with a poor performance in week 13, Optimus Prime was still able to hold off The Champs AGAIN. And finally, win the playoffs and become the 2008 Beer and Football on Sundays Champion. Only 3 more wins to accomplish this final task, and I like my chances in the first round. There will be no Buster Douglas type upset in this first round matchup.

(7) Afternoon Sex Break vs. (2) The Champs AGAIN

A tough first round draw for Big C Dawg. But stranger things have happened. Scott is due to come back down to earth and lose at some point, and Conan will try and make that happen this week. This has the makings of a possible Rocky Balboa/Ivan Drago style matchup. “I must break you.”

(5) MotorBoatin Son of a vs. (4) McHurtingbyinjuries

These two teams split the season series. But I don’t expect this one to be close. Milton has a lot of favorable matchups this week. Here’s something to think about, if Milton does don’t make the Adrian Peterson for Steve Smith, Willie Parker, Joseph Addai trade with Scott, where would he be sitting in the standings right now? Scott could be possibly looking in on the outside of the playoffs fighting for next year’s top pick, while Milt could possibly be sitting at 1 or 2 in the standings. A trade that looked like a steal at the time turned and backfired on Motorboatin Son of a.

(6) JacksSmirkingRevenge vs. (3) River Rats

Mike has lost his final 4 games of the season and still managed to hold onto the third overall seed. Brandon is the clear cut favorite right now going into this matchup but something is telling me that Mike will bounce back this week on the backs of Matt Forte and Clinton Portis. They’re that good. Besides, I can’t see Mike putting up two abysmal scores in a row.

Good luck and congrats to everyone who has made the playoffs. I am collecting $25 team fees now so get to that to me ASAP. I will not collect the free agency moves $ until after the fantasy season is thru in order to make moves during the playoff and consolation rounds.

NOTE TO TEAMS PLAYING IN THE CONSOLATION ROUNDS:
As you all know by now, these teams are fighting for draft lottery picks in next season’s live draft which will be taking place at a TBD location (most likely my house) at a TBD time. The winner of the consolation round will receive the most ping pong balls/entries/etc. in determining who will get the #1 pick next year. We also will be incorporating a new set of rules and regulations, along with keeper players, and the expansion of 2 teams that will break the league into 2 divisions next season as we look to expand and move away from the faulty Yahoo! fantasy server.

Week 12 Results

Week 12 is over and done with. A couple of MNF matchups led to a few come from behind wins, Optimus Prime has 99.9% locked up the division title (barring a Derek loss and a Scott win with Scott outscoring Derek by more than 130 points), and the final week of the regular season will decide the 8th and final playoff spot. Here are last week’s results.

Irish 106.25
Ready4Fantasy09 97.05

In this week’s featured matchup, Clint tops Kyle this week and is now a game up on both Kyle and CJ for the final playoff spot and has a formable matchup in Team Ramrod this week. Shawn’s team has been hot of late and will look to spoil Clint’s playoff hopes. Here’s a wicked smack talk post about this matchup that went on this weekend between Conan and Kyle:

Afternoon Sex Break November 23, 2:05 pm
Should have played Brady Quinn you moron! Kyle Orton SUCKS!
Ready4Fantasy09 November 23, 2:29 pm
You look real smart Conan with that comment this is why I would never take your advice
Afternoon Sex Break November 23, 3:02 pm
Brady Quinn Kyle "might as well be Randy" Orton
Afternoon Sex Break November 23, 3:04 pm
This smack talk poster SUCKS! BTW Kyle, how's Jason Witten treatin ya you moron.
Ready4Fantasy09 November 23, 7:19 pm
witen is the least of my worries you jackass hes a TE I don’t expect much from him this is all coming from the idiot who drafted Moss with a top 3pick you should worry more about your matchup then min
Afternoon Sex Break November 24, 2:52 pm
How the view at the bottom of the standings JEWBAG!

I can’t wait to see these two and Florida together again in two weeks! Kyle looks to keep his playoff hopes alive next week with a win over CJ and a Clint loss to Shawn.

MotorBoatin Son of a 129.00
McHurtingbyinjuries 150.85

Randy clinches a playoff spot while Milton falls down the standings a bit. Other than that this was pretty much a meaningless game. It was evitable that Randy was going to make the playoffs. Greg Olsen, Willie Parker, and Matt Prater were the scapegoats this week for MotorBoatin Son of a. I’m sure this loss means nothing to Milton as he’s still favored as a strong contender in the playoffs.

I Heart Porn 106.55
JacksSmirkingRevenge 139.25

A tough loss for CJ that pretty much eliminates him from playoff contention (barring some sort of cataclysmic event). Clint is now a game up on Kyle and CJ, who will duke it out next week, and faces a red hot Team Ramrod who will look to play playoff spoiler. Is it possible for CJ to put up 300 pts next week, get the win over Kyle, and have Clint lose to Shawn? I wouldn’t bet my house on it, but then again I don’t own one.

The Champs AGAIN 141.90
Team Ramrod 128.45

A strong showing for Shawn, but the woolly mammoth that is The Champs AGAIN pulls out another win on the back of a 4 td performance from Michael Turner. Scott will square off against Mike this week in a matchup that will determine who will get the 2nd place seeding for the playoffs. Shawn looks to play spoiler against Clint this week and destroy his playoff hopes.

Optimus Prime 137.55
Afternoon Sex Break 133.50

I LOVE DREW BREES!!!!! Brees single handedly capped off a mammoth come from behind win for Optimus Prime over Afternoon Sex Break. Prime looked all but done going into the MNF game with only having Drew Brees remaining, while Afternoon Sex Break had Aaron Rogers, Devery Henderson, and the packers’ defense still to play. But with another 300+ yards passing and 4 tds, it was game over, winner winner chicken dinner for Optimus Prime. Barring a loss to Moniz next week, a Scott win, and Scott outscoring me by more than 130 pts, Optimus prime has 99.9% locked up the Beer and Football on Sundays division crown.

jew crew enemy 149.50
River Rats 145.50

In another MNF matchup, Moniz was able to pull off a major upset over Mike thanks to the strong play of Greg Jennings. Mike is in a little bit of a rut losing 3 straight, and at the worst possible time with the playoffs only 1 week away.

Happy Thanksgiving and make sure to party like a rock star Wednesday night!

Week 12 Featured Matchup

Here’s a look at this weeks featured matchup.

Irish (4-7) vs. Ur My Boy Blue! (4-7)

With playoff implications on the line, how could this not be the featured matchup?

Projected Scores: Clint (103.94) – Kyle (121.80)

Projected Winner: Irish

I have to take Clint in this matchup. I know Kyle is projected to blow Clint out of the water on paper, but there are a lot of question marks that surround Kyle’s team this week. First off, Brian Westbrook missed practice completely on Wednesday with knee and rib injuries and there are still questions whether or not he will be able to play this weekend (Hint: Good time for anyone to go and pick up Correll Buckhalter as he surely will see some time as the featured back especially with league playoffs coming up, wait a minute I already picked me up, sorry). Secondly, Brady Quinn now has a fractured index finger and you have no idea what you will get out of him with only a couple starts under his belt. And let’s not forget to mention that if Clint wins this week it sets up an eventful final week of the season between Clint, Kyle, and CJ fighting for the final playoff spot.

Week 12 Fantasy Touches

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Power Rankings: Week 11

POWER RANKNING

Week 11

1 Optimus Prime (9-2)

Prime takes home another victory and looks like this is the team to beat going forward this season. Its funny to think about, but at the beginning of this season this team was looking at Drew Brees (290.65) as their top performer week in and week out. However, with the Saints being a big question mark week in and week out and the Cardinals tearing it up on a weekly basis, it looks as if Anquan Boldin (197.70) was the steal of the season.

Last Week's Key Performer: Anquan Boldin 37.40

2 The Champs AGAIN (8-3)

Just as predicted last week at this time, Scott is moving closer and closer to the top of the standings and is certainly a threat to take down Prime in the playoffs and start ushering in Beer and Football’s first dynasty.

Last Week's Key Performer: DeAngelo Williams 27.00

3 River Rats (8-3)

A dismal performance against a team that should have been a walk in the park is raising some serious questions about this team going into playoff time. The Rats have picked a horrible time of year to flounder with the playoffs only two weeks away, could this be the “choke heard round the world” or will we see this team return to form in the closing weeks. The biggest hurdle that this team faces is that a lot of the players that have been relied on all season to have amazing games are playing well above their actual level. To sum this all up, if I had stock in this team, I would be selling. ALL OF IT!!! And please can we move BenJarvus Green-Ellis (55.90) out of the line-up.

Last Week's Key Performer: Matt Forte 13.40

4 Afternoon Sex Break (6-5)

Big win this week for the Break as they annihilated the River Rats by almost 70 points. This team is riding a 4 game win streak that has helped catapult this team for the bottom of the barrel to a team that may be able to do some damage in the playoffs and for certain if Brandon Jacobs (178.50) and Braylon Edwards (114.10) keep going the way they have been the past couple weeks, you could be looking at a threat to be in the “Big Kegger” at the end of the season. Next week however is the biggest test of the season, as The Sex will take on Prime in what should be a nail biter.

Last Week's Key Performer: Aaron Rodgers 21.45

5 MotorBoatin Son of a (7-4)

Won again this week and did not move up the rankings. Milton’s squad has become one of the more constant in the league. Well, will Kurt Warner (292.70) putting up numbers resembling his days with the “Greatest Show on Turf”, you can not bet against Milton in the playoffs.

Last Week's Key Performer: Joseph Addai 32.30

6 McHurtingbyInjuries (6-5)

T.J. House-yo-mama (151.00) finally breaks out and has a huge game this week. However, playing Derek’s Dream Team, you are going to need to put up more than 120.90 points to win. Anytime you put up numbers like that and lose, it sucks. Take the loss with a grain of salt, because this team is good and they will be in the playoffs, especially with the magic number now being down to one game.

Last Week's Key Performer: T.J. Houshmandzadeh 33.90


7 JacksSmirkingRevenge (6-5)

Well, let me be the first to say that the trade, as of yet, has worked out in Brandon’s favor as he squared up with Clint’s team in Week 11 and took home the “W”. I will be the first to admit that I was wrong thinking that this team was going to miss the playoffs especially with the magic number for this team now down to one game, however, I still hold by my prediction that this team is going down quick and Brandon will be wishing he still had Thomas Jones (192.30) when it is all said and done.

Last Week's Key Performer: Steve Slaton 33.60

8 Ur My Boy Blue! (4-7)

This is what we have all been waiting for, Beer and Football’s version of the wildcard race. Three teams, two games left and one spot open. Best of all is that they all play each other in the last two weeks. Unfortunately, it’s my prediction that the Jew and his band of misfits will certainly be receiving some ping-pong balls in next year’s draft. This squad is defiantly the weakest of the three and I predict a 4-9 final record.

Last Week's Key Performer: Larry Fitzgerald 32.10

9 Irish (4-7)

Its tough to score 130+ points and lose, but that is the way it was for a lot of teams this week. I do however, think that the Irish are going to be in the playoffs this season riding the solid play of Thomas Jones (192.30) and Marshawn Lynch (152.30) down the stretch. This is my pick to make the playoffs in that three-way dance.

Last Week's Key Performer: Marshawn Lynch 31.70

10 Team Ramrod (2-9)

Yes, you read that right! The rankings were calculated and I was quite surprised myself to see this team almost breaking into the top 10. However, I think it is time to give credit where it is due! This team is not a push over, despite what their record says. And as I said last week, it really makes you wonder what could have happened if Tom Brady hadn’t gone down in the first game.

Last Week's Key Performer: Ryan Grant 28.60

11 I Heart Porn (4-7)

I think that the computer is a little harsh on CJ, but he is riding a 4 game losing streak that has seen I Heart Porn fall from a playoff definite to a playoff maybe. Let’s be honest the acquisition of Farve (193.35) should have elevated this team, but with guys like Lee Evans (121.70) dropping the ball, you can’t really consider this team as a playoff contender. With all that said, the ball is still in CJ’s court as two strong weeks will get him in the playoffs, however, if they do make it in, I can not see them as any more than a “one and done”.

Last Week's Key Performer: Brett Farve 25.00

12 jew crew enemy (2-9)

Let it be proclaimed from every rooftop! THIS TEAM SUCKS! We have a new basement dweller ladies and gentlemen and this team is not leaving in the near future. With games coming up against Mike (River Rats) and Prime, 2-11 is certainly in this teams future.

Last Week's Key Performer: Greg Jennings 14.90

Formula:

(((Wins * 50) - (Losses * 25) + (Win Streak * 50) - (Losing Streak * 25)) + Total Points) / Week # = Power Ranking Points

Week 11 Results

2 more teams clinched a playoff birth in week 11. Plus we have a new overall leader. Here’s the recap for week 11.

jew crew enemy 99.90
Team Ramrod 134.60

In this week’s featured matchup (The Battle of Suck vs. Suck more), Shawn was able to do something that he has been pressed to do all season long…win a game. Team Ramrod penetrated deep into the anus of the Jew Crew Enemy and is now on the verge from pulling himself out of the basement. Both teams are tied at 2-9 with Matt ahead by pts.

Afternoon Sex Break 140.25
River Rats 76.20

Quite possibly the biggest upset of the week, but then again I have said all along that Afternoon Sex Break would finish the year strong and go deep into the playoffs. Mike could not get anything going this week and with Clinton Portis playing this week in question, Mike was forced to use The Lawyer Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis this past Thursday against the Jets who picked up a mere .90 pts. When soon to be Rookie Defensive Player of the Year Jerrod Mayo puts up 18 pts you know you’re in for a good week. With the River Rats losing this week, that could only mean one thing…

Optimus Prime 147.50
McHurtingbyinjuries 120.90

Yes that’s right. We have a new overall leader in Optimus Prime. Randy shot out of the gate after a sizable lead after the 1pm games, but failed to realize that the majority of my team were playing later in the day. Tim Hightower’s production could be a cause of concern going into the Playoffs for Optimus Prime so look for myself to be monitoring free agency very carefully (a la Antonio Pittman for wk 12). Even with the loss, Randy is still only 1 win away or another Kyle, Clint, CJ loss away from clinching a playoff birth.

The Champs AGAIN 134.20
Ur My Boy Blue! 115.35

Kyle came up a little bit short (no surprise there) but put a little bit of a scare into Scott. The officiating in the Pittsburgh/San Diego game screwed Kyle this week as they cost him pts for a Troy Polamalu forced fumble and a TD. But one could argue that he probably still would have come up short (again no surprise here) against the juggernaut that is The Champs AGAIN.

Irish 135.10
JacksSmirkingRevenge 147.25

Marshawn Lynch had a good showing in the MNF game for Clint but Irish still came up short against JacksSmirkingRevenge (Boys and girls today’s word of the day is “short”). Steve Slaton and Marian Barber had big games for Brandon who is now also only one win away or another Clint, Kyle, CJ loss from securing a playoff birth. Clint will be battling it out with Kyle and CJ the rest of the year for potentially the final playoff birth. He needs to win at least one game in the next 2 weeks as Kyle and CJ face off in the season’s final week and one of those teams will walk away with a win.

I Heart Porn 85.20
MotorBoatin Son of a 111.25

Kurt Warner for MVP anyone? Surely Milton must think so. It looks like that was probably the steal of the draft. Warner propels MotorBoatin Son of a passed I Heart Porn and locked up a playoff birth. Joseph Addai also has a nice day while the only bright spots for I Heart Porn were LT, Favre, and the Bucs defense. Julius Jones cost CJ a 10th of a point while Lee Evans put up an astounding 1 pt. I got the greatest txt message from CJ this morning that summed up his fantasy football season. “Hey f*ck this fantasy bullsh*t I quit and I’m not paying either and I’m giving LT to Scott along with Lee Evans and Marvin Harrison.” LOL he was joking of course. I still think he is going to get into the playoffs at the cost of a final week showdown with Kyle.

Week 11 Featured Matchup

Here is this week’s featured matchup.

Jew Crew Enemy (2-8) vs. Team Ramrod (1-9)

This is going to be a battle of ugliness. How could I not pick this matchup? Besides this is probably going to be the only time all year that Shawn’s team will be in a featured matchup.

Projected Scores: Matt (114.42) – Shawn (109.94)

But honestly does the score really matter. Either way this is going to be a sh*t show.

Projected Winner: Jew Crew Enemy

Anytime you have a couple players going up against the Denver, Oakland, and Detroit defenses, you’re in for a pretty good day. Brandon Marshall needs to go off for Shawn to win this week, but faces a tough matchup as Atlanta has been very good at home this season.

Week 10 Results

A couple big wins played out in week 10. Two teams clinched playoff berths. The real contenders seem be separate from the frauds. Here’s a recap of the action.

jew crew enemy 125.90
Ur My Boy Blue! 133.25

In this week’s featured matchup, Kyle was able to avoid contending for last place and keep his playoff hopes alive with a last minute MNF win over Matt. With 14.90 points from Larry Fitzgerald, Kyle pulled a win out of his @$$ and now goes to 4-6 on the season. If there was an award for a team with so many name changes Kyle would be a dominant contender right now. Moniz falls to 2-8 on the year and a playoff birth is pretty much out of the picture at this point.

Optimus Prime 171.20
River Rats 150.80

This game was pretty much 1B this week in featured matchups. Mike was able to put up a 150 this week even without potential league MVP Clinton Portis, but this still wasn’t enough. Down 25 points going into the MNF game, Optimus Prime pulled out a 171 on the backs of Frank Gore, Anquan Boldin, Tim Hightower, and Neil Rackers. Now with the same overall record, these two teams are separated by points, with Mike remaining in the lead by 13. The regular season league champion will surely go down to the wire between these two teams, with Scott also sneaking up from behind to join the contention.

Afternoon Sex Break 107.20
Team Ramrod 93.70

What can be said about this matchup except it was a case of two teams going in opposite directions. Afternoon Sex Break looked strong again this week on the back of Brandon Jacobs, and is climbing his way up the board looking to ensure a playoff spot. Next year will be a better year for Team Ramrod. At least it can’t get any worse. Can it?

The Champs AGAIN 170.35
JacksSmirkingRevenge 141.30

If I had to pick a team (outside of my team of course) to win this year’s championship, I would have to pick The Champs AGAIN. Looking to repeat as league champions, Scotty’s team has done nothing but dominate since the acquisition of Adrian Peterson. I think I might smell a little regret on Milt’s behalf. This was an extremely tough loss for Brandon who put up a 141 and still lost. But like they say, to be the best, you got to beat the best. And The Champs AGAIN are surely playing like they are the best right now.

Irish 113.30
MotorBoatin Son of a 137.30

Thanks to a strong performance from Kurt Warner in the MNF game, Milton was able to come from behind and stay near the top of the pack for playoff contention. If MotorBoatin Son of a is going to make a strong playoff run, he will need Kurt Warner to keep playing like the Kurt Warner of old, and Willie Parker/Joseph Addai to return to form from a year ago. Nagging injuries could play a major factor in this team’s playoff success but we all know Milton (aka George Steinbrenner) is not afraid to go out and spend money in free agency.

I Heart Porn 112.15
McHurtingbyinjuries 126.25

I’ve been scratching my head with this one. You have one team that looks like they are finally gonna get it going and make a push for the playoffs, while the other has been decimated by injuries to his top 2 players, and the latter still pulls out a win. I still think CJ will backdoor his way into the playoffs on the back of LT, but he has a tough road ahead on him, and it could ultimately come down to his matchup in the last week of the season against the Jew.

Big Sexy: Power Rankings

Check out Conan's Power Rankings for week 10.

Keeper Players for 08-09 Season

Since the majority of you have been inquiring about Keeper Players for this season, I have decided to add a variation of Keeper Players to this year’s season. You will be able to protect 1 and only 1 rookie on your roster for next year’s season. For those of you that are a little specially challenged (Kyle), this means if you have a rookie on your roster this year, you are eligible to protect him and have him on your roster for next year’s season. Next season we will be incorporating a different version of Keeper Players, more details on that will be released leading up to the draft next year.

Week 10 Featured Matchup

Week 10’s featured matchup is:

Jew Crew Enemy (2-7) vs. The Jew Crew (3-6)

Projected Scores: Moniz (113.52) – Kyle (92.82)

I wanted this week’s matchup to be Optimus Prime vs. The River Rats but Mike is without his best player this week, and with some really favorable matchups, Optimus Prime is projected to blowout the River Rats this week. But this is fantasy football and anything can happen so I can see a major upset forming here.

Projected Winner: Jew Crew Enemy

I’m basing this on the simple fact that I think Moniz has a better team with a couple better matchups this week. Don’t get me wrong, both these teams absolutely suck, but Moniz’s team seems to suck a little bit less. Kyle is reeking with suckability. His team is injury plagued and unless he reads this before tonight’s game and picks up Brady Quinn for a QB he will score no more than 76 points this week. KYLE SPEND THE GOD DAMN QUARTER AND PICK UP BRADY QUINN!!!!!

Prediction Standings for 11-5-08

Here are the results from Week 9 Prediction Picks:

Derek (4-2)
Scott (4-2)
Milton (4-2)
Brandon (3-3)
Clint (3-3)
Conan (3-3)
Kyle (2-4)
Mike (1-0)
Matt (1-0)
CJ (0-1)
Shawn (0-1)
Randy (0-0) *DNP

Here are the current season standings:

1. Derek (33-17)
2. Scott (31-17)
3. Milton (25-29)
4. Mike (15-11)
5. Kyle (15-16)
6. Brandon (14-9)
7. Clint (10-9)
8. Shawn (9-8)
9. CJ (5-1)
10. Matt (5-5)
11. Randy (4-3)
12. Conan (4-7)

Week 9 Results

Week 9 matchups were not even close for the most part. At least an interesting playoff race is taking form. Here’s a look at the results from last week.

River Rats 145.80
McLoving Life 80.15

I thought this game would be a lot closer than what it was but Mike dominates yet again. Next week’s matchup against myself, Optimus Prime should be a litter tougher and could ultimately decide the division winner (not foreseeing any future upsets). Derrick Mason and Matt Forte led the way for the River Rats who now improve to an impressive 8-1 on the year. Randy decided to play Chad “I can’t throw a deep ball” Pennington over Derek Anderson this week, although it would not have really mattered in this contest. McLoving Life is now 5-4 on the year.

The Champs AGAIN 162.15
MotorBoatin Son of a 106.40

In this week’s featured matchup, Scott decided to take a big shat on Milton’s team this week. Kurt Warner was able to put up 31 and Chris Johnson was able to match “Big Game” Peterson’s performance for Milt this week, but Peterson along with Turner, Cutler, Berrian, and Driver was too much for Milton to motorboat (“them be some great big ol’ titties”). They were built for speed this week, not comfort (I’m referencing Wedding Crashers for those of you that are lost…Kyle). Scott is now a solid 6-3 on the year while Milton drops to 5-4.

Irish 111.45
I Heart Porn 62.95

So far the blockbuster move made by CJ this week has been a bust but we all know Rome was not built in a day. Julius Jones and Brett Favre combined for 12.85 pts this week while Braylon Edwards put up over 16 himself for Afternoon Sex Break. Favre and LT need to be strong down the stretch in order for CJ to backdoor his way into the playoffs. Peyton Manning led the way for Irish who moves to 4-5 on the season, in a dead heat with I Heart Porn for the final playoff spot who is also 4-5 on the season.

jew crew enemy 98.35
JacksSmirkingRevenge 111.95

Moniz suffers another beating, this time to the hands of Brandon. I can’t wait to see the matchup of Jew Crew Enemy and Team Ramrod take place. It should be a good one filled with laughs. Donovan McNabb dropped 31 for JacksSmirkingRevenge, who is now 5-4 on the year. Moniz, who’s best player this week was the Pittsburgh defense (A defense? Are you kidding me?), falls to 2-7 on the year fighting for the most ping pong balls for the draft lottery with Shawn.

Afternoon Sex Break 110.90
The Jew Crew 96.70

Here’s a quote from Conan that described this matchup: How’s my ass taste Kyle!!!” The Jew Crew lost not only his starting QB to an injury this week, but also his backup QB, and a RB. Kyle’s window of opportunity to get into the playoffs seems to be shrinking every week, while Big C is moving his way up in the standings and is gaining strong momentum right before the final push. Afternoon Sex Break is now a solid 4-5 on the year, while The Jew Crew fall to 3-6 and most likely will be contending for ping pong balls.

Optimus Prime 162.15
Team Ramrod 122.65

I drop bombs on teams even without my top two players, Drew Brees and Frank Gore, in the lineup. Enough said. Optimus Prime is now 7-2 on the year while Team Romrod drops to 1-8.

Week 9 Featured Matchup

Here’s a look at this week’s featured matchup:

The Champs AGAIN (5-3) vs. MotorBoatin Son of a (5-3)

Projected Scores: Scott (134.10) – Milton (115.67)

This should be the week where each will get to really see how their blockbuster deal worked out for their teams (depending if Parker and Addai play). The most productive piece out of that deal thus far for Milton was Steve Smith who is also currently on a bye this week.

Project Winner: MotoBoatin Son of a

On paper, Scot should destroy Milton this week. But I really like his matchups. Melwelde Moore has rushed for 303 yrds and 3 td’s in his last 3 games, Kurt Warner faces the Rams defense with Boldin and Fitzgerald in mid season form, and you have to like Addai against the Pats defense, even a 75% healthy Addai. Adrain Peterson will have a big game for Llyod, but there’s still a question mark on Michael Turner wheather he can play the big game or not, and you don’t know what your gonna get out of Jay Cutler this week with a banged up finger on his throwing hand. With that said I leave you all with this: “Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?”

10-29-08 Prediction Standings

Here’s the results fromWeek 8’s Prediction Picks:

Scott (4-2)
Brandon (4-2)
Clint (4-2)
Derek (3-3)
Mike (3-3)
Milton (2-4)
Shawn (1-0)
Conan (1-0)
Matt (1-0)
Kyle (0-1)
Randy (0-0) DNP
CJ (0-0) DNP

Here are the standings for the season thus far:

1. Derek (29-15)
2. Scott (27-15)
3. Milton (21-27)
4. Mike (14-11)
5. Kyle (13-12)
6. Brandon (11-6)
7. Shawn (9-7)
8. Clint (7-6)
9. CJ (5-0)
10. Randy (4-3)
11. Matt (4-5)
12. Conan (1-4)

Week 8 Results

Week 8 is over and down with. Playoff teams are starting to take shape. Here is a recap of this past weekend’s action.

Optimus Prime 183.35
The Jew Crew 143.30

In this week’s featured matchup, I accomplished what I sought out to do. I ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED THE JEW!!!!!! MUHAHAHA. MUHAHAHA. MUHAHAHA. “Welcome Back” Anquan Boldin had 2 td catches in his return, while Drew Brees lit the Chargers up like a Christmas tree. Tough break for the Jew as he puts up a 143 and still loses. Oh well, no remorse here. I am now a strong 6-2 on the year while the Jew goes to 3-5.

Afternoon Sex Break 141.70
JacksSmirkingRevenge 100.05

Big C must have been thanking me this week after I talked him into starting Donnie Avery over Devery Henderson. Avery led the way for Sex Break with 37 points while the McNabb/Cotechery attack was not enough for Brandon this week. I still predicted Afternoon Sex Break to lose this week so I’m not a complete fantasy genius after my Avery pick. Big C is looking to make a strong run at the playoffs at 3-5 while Brandon goes to .500 with a 4-4 record.

Team Ramrod 87.25
River Rats 126.35

Shawn got another rod rammed up his ass this week, this time from Mike. All you have to know from this matchup is that Phillip Rivers can make it rain!!!!! Shawn is predicting a win next week but Optimus Prime is looking forward to beating Shawn in week 9 despite having Brees and Gore on bye weeks. Mike has a tough matchup next week, in a week that could ultimately decide who finishes the season with the best overall record. The River Rats are now 7-1 on the year while team Ramrod is on the opposite end of the spectrum at 1-7.

jew crew enemy 92.30
Down with the Enemy 149.15

This matchup was a joke. Moniz - are you serious? Did you really start McFadden who was out for Sunday? Milton absolutely crushed Moniz this week. This wasn’t even close. Steve Smith and Kurt Warner both had another big week for Down with the Enemy who now improves to 5-3 on the year. Jew Crew Enemy is now 2-6.

The Champs AGAIN 152.80
I Heart Porn 94.55

The clock struck midnight on CJ this week. The backups win. I can’t believe it. Only against CJ’s team would a team that’s starting all backup players would win. Wait, not only win but destroy! I think it might be time for CJ to start shopping LT and Braylon Edwards before the November 22 trade deadline. Scotty is now 5-3 while CJ goes to 4-4.

Irish 98.65
McLoving Life 133.30

Randy is making a fast run to the top. A win over Mike next week and he will be a game out of 1st place. Chad Pennington and Roddy White led the way for McLoving Life while the Peyton to Wayne combo continues to suck for Irish. Clint – are you gonna come to the Colts Playoff Elimination party next weekend at Gillette Stadium? Randy is now 5-3 on the year while Clint falls to 3-5.

Week 8 Featured Matchup

I almost forgot to do this for this week. Here is this week’s featured matchup.

Optimus Prime (5-2) vs. The Jew Crew (3-4)

Projected Scores: Derek (132.75) – Kyle (129.94)

You’ve left me no choice Kyle but to destroy you this week. You thought it hurt last Thursday when I drilled you? Wait and see what it feels like after this Sunday. Get that flying squirrel prepared buddy.

Projected Winner: Optimus Prime

AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE OPTIMUS PRIME SAID SO!!!!!

10-23-08 Prediction Standings

Here are the results from last week’s Prediction Picks:

Derek (6-0)
Scott (5-1)
Mike (4-2)
Brandon (4-2)
Shawn (4-2)
Kyle (3-3)
Milton (3-3)
Chris (1-0)
Matt (0-1)
Conan (0-1)
Clint (0-1)
Randy (0-0)

Here are the season standings after factoring in last weeks totals:

1. Derek (26-12)
2. Scott (23-13)
3. Milton (19-23)
4. Kyle (13-11)
5. Mike (11-8)
6. Shawn (8-7)
7. Brandon (7-5)
8. CJ (5-0)
9. Randy (4-3)
10. Clint (3-4)
11. Matt (3-5)
12. Conan (0-4)

Week 7 Results

Here’s a look at what happened in week 7.

The Jew Crew 119.75
River Rats 171.80

Is there anyone out there that can beat Mike? With another massive score, the River Rats went all Holocaust on the Jew Crew in this week's featured matchup. As long as Clinton Portis keeps getting the ball, Mike should breeze easily into the playoffs with the #1 seed. Mike is now 6-1 on the year while the Jew falls under .500 to 3-4 with will probably suffer another dominating loss next week.

Team Ramrod 118.95
McLoving Reggie Bush 146.85

Shawn puts up his highest score in god knows how long but it was not enough to take down Randy despite losing Reggie Bush for much of the game. Steven Jackson returned to form putting up over 48 points, and his Chicago Bears defense put up 22 points despite giving up 41 to the Minnesota Vikings. Randy is now 4-3 on the year while Shawn falls to 1-6.

Optimus Prime 105.65
JacksSmirkingRevenge 132.25

I knew I didn’t stand a chance this week but I can’t believe I lost the way I did. Drew Brees and Frank Gore picked up 16 points combined for me in a week in which if I had any kind of decent production from them I probably might have had a shot at winning this week. Brandon enjoyed a nice MNF game from Matt Cassel and Wes Welker picked up his 1st TD catch of the season. With the return of Anquan Boldin and Kevin Curtis, look for my team to return to form and head back into contention for the overall lead with the River Rats (not to be a homer or anything). JacksSmirkingRevenge is now 4-3 on the year while Optimus Prime falls to 5-2.

Afternoon Sex Break 142.10
Down with the Enemy 158.35

Big C had a nice balanced attack going this week but the one move he didn’t make is the one that killed him. LenDale White and his 41 points were left on the bench this week for Julius Jones and his whopping 4 points. If Big C can get some consistency out of Randy Moss in the next few weeks, he could be poised to make a run here. Down with the Enemy (aka Need More Squirrel) had big games from the recently acquired Steve Smith, Chris Johnson, and Mewelde Moore who was claimed from free agency in result of Willie Parker going down with a knee injury. Afternoon Sex Break falls to 2-5 on the year while Down with the Enemy goes to a strong 4-3.

jew crew enemy 76.90
I Heart Porn 106.30

The hottest team currently in the league wins again. After a dreadful 0-3 start, I Heart Porn has rattled off 4 straight wins including wins against the River Rats and Optimus Prime. An amazing feat this week despite getting only 9 points from Braylon Edwards and 9 points from LT. I Heart Porn is now 4-3 on the year while Moniz continues to fall in the other direction at 2-5.

The Champs AGAIN 125.50
Irish 86.35

Jay Cutler might have sucked this week but AP picked up the slack with an impressive 28.50 points. Irish is loaded with Indianapolis Colts players that sucked this week, and wasn’t able to put up a fight against The Champs AGAIN. Irish is now 3-4 on the year while The Champs AGAIN jump to 4-3.

Week 7 Predictions

Here’s a look at my week 7 predictions.

The Jew Crew (3-3) vs. River Rats (5-1)

Projected Scores: Kyle (94.50) – Mike (119.20)

After jumping into 1st place* (by points for) last week, Mike will try to repeat a dominant week 6 performance and put a trash talking, Tony Romo loving, flying squirrel (Kyle) back in his place this week.

My Projected Winner: River Rats


The Champs AGAIN (3-3) vs. Irish (3-3)

Projected Scores: Scott (119.32) – Clint (122.56)

I love Scott’s acquisitions of Jay Cutler, Adrian Peterson, and Dallas Clark. With a little consistency, his team will no doubt be a top league contender.

My Projected Winner: The Champs AGAIN


Afternoon Sex Break (2-4) vs. Need More Squirrel (3-3)

Projected Scores: Conan (105.94) – (111.48)

Milton may regret making that blockbuster trade right now with both Joseph Addai and Willie Parker going down with injuries, but Mewelde Moore will fill in nicely this week at the flex spot. Addai and Parker will be alright going forward for Need More Squirrel. Conan is on the verge of acquiring Brandon Marshall and Ryan Grant which could totally change his team’s misfortune around. If this trade does go thru, Afternoon Sex Break will (mark my words) make the playoffs and quite possibly make a strong run at the title.

My Projected Winner: Need More Squirrel (until I see Marshall and Grant in Conan’s lineup, I’m going with the Squirrel)


Optimus Prime (5-1) vs. JacksSmirkingRevenge (3-3)

Project Scores: Derek (117.45 – Brandon (137.24)

Brandon put up a monster score last week (and somehow lost) and the majority of my team is questionable this week after the injury bug hit hard last week for Optimus Prime (4 of my players last week left with injuries).

My Projected Winner: JacksSmirkingRevenge (yes I am picking against my team this week, hopefully I’m wrong)


Jew Crew Enemy (2-4) vs. I Heart Porn (3-3)

Projected Scores: Matt (122.99) – CJ (114.54)

I have to go with the hot hand here and after 3 straight wins, Braylon Edwards finally starting to break out, I’m on the CJ and I Heart Porn train. Besides, who doesn’t love porn?

My Projected Winner: I Heart Porn (me too)


Team Ramrod (1-5) vs. McLoving Reggie Bush (3-3)

Projected Scores: Shawn (104.94) – Randy (100.42)

Don’t ask me why but I decided to go with the guy who most desperately needs a win this week. Shawn I hope you like the new logo I created for you.

My Projected Winner: Team Ramrod

Week 7 Featured Matchup

Here’s a look at this weeks featured matchup.

The Jew Crew (3-3) vs. River Rats (5-1)

Projected Scores: Kyle (94.50) – Mike (119.20)

After jumping into 1st place* (by points for) last week, Mike will try to repeat a dominant week 6 performance and put a trash talking, Tony Romo loving, flying squirrel (Kyle) back in his place this week.

Projected Winner: River Rats

The Jew is starting no team defense this week and is relying on Ricky Williams at RB. Andre Johnson facing a Detroit Lions defense alone will probably be enough to demolish the Jew this week. Nevermind the league’s leading rusher Clinton Portis facing a week Cleveland Brown’s defense. The Jew Crew is spelled J-U-N-K with a capital J this week. I’m hoping the Jew pulls off a miracle this week because I need all the help I can get in hopes of staying in at least a tie for the league lead this week.

Team Logos

I thought this would help the time pass by at work as I am bored off my ass so I have created logos for every team in the league.


Optimus Prime

Need More Squirrel

River Rats

McLoving Reggie Bush


The Jew Crew


The Champs AGAIN

Irish

Jew Crew Enemy

I Heart Porn

Team Ramrod

Afternoon Sex Break

JacksSmirkingRevenge

Matchup Predictions Standings

Weekly Matchup Predictions Standings are currently posted for weeks 1-6 of the season.

TEAM (WINS-LOSS)
1. Derek (20-12)
2. Scott (18-12)
3. Milton (16-20)
4. Kyle (10-8)
5. Mike (7-6)
6. CJ (4-0)
7. Randy (4-3)
8. Shawn (4-5)
9. Brandon (3-3)
10. Clint (3-3)
11. Matt (3-4)
12. Conan (0-3)

Week 6 Results

Week 6 is over and done with and now things should really get interesting with injuries and bye weeks starting to factor into the season. To make matters worse we have a 7-way tie for 3rd place! After starting predictions this week for every matchup on hand, my record has now gone to 7-4 on the season. Always a good thing to be over .500 when you’re predicting matchups. If you would like to take a crack at the weekly matchups as well, email me your picks for the week and I will post them all to the blog site and we’ll keep track of everyone’s record that participates and see how you stack up against this self-proclaimed “fantasy guru” (even though my featured matchup pick and reasoning behind it went to sh*t last week). Here’s a recap of all the action.

Afternoon Sex Break 107.10
I Heart Porn 128.35

In this week’s featured matchup, CJ has now rattled off 3 wins in a row and has jumped from last place all the way to a tie for 3rd with a record of 3-3. Going into the MNF matchup I Heart Porn was trailing Afternoon Sex Break by 4.05 points with Brandon Jacobs going for Afternoon Sex Break and Braylon Edwards for I Heart Porn. The latter actually decided to show up for a game and play posting over 37 points for CJ and sending Afternoon Sex Break to 2-4 on the year. With Randy Moss not playing anything like a shadow of himself from a year ago, and Braylon Edwards starting to heat things up, this could be a case of two teams going in opposite directions.

Optimus Prime 127.70
Need More Squirrel 92.60

“No sacrifice, no victory. Auto bots, ROLL OUT!” That about sums up this win this week for my team, Optimus Prime (yes I am on a Transformers kick right now if you can’t tell). I was able to pull out a victory this week and go to 5-1 on the year but also lost Brandon Stokely to a concussion, Calvin Johnson to a concussion (although back next week), Fred Taylor to a head injury, and Felix Jones with a hamstring injury. Thank god none of these turned out to be serious but it was a scary Sunday that didn’t seem too promising. Milton also was part of a block buster deal that brought Steve Smith, Willie Parker, and Joseph Addai to Need More Squirrel in exchange for Adrian Peterson and Jay Cutler. Milton’s team is now balls deep and should be a sure lock to make playoffs with a strong possibility of making a deep run. Optimus Prime is now 5-1 on the year while Need More Squirrel falls 3-3.

THE JEWBAGS 88.50
Irish 116.65

I bite my tongue about everything I said about Clint’s team’s matchups this week. Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne lit up the Ravens secondary. Moniz – you disappoint me again young padawan. Are there any objections to when I say that Darren McFadden was the most overrated player to come out of the draft not named Vernon Gholston? Clint is now sitting in a nice position with a 3-3 record while Moniz falls to 2-4 on the year with no light at the end of the tunnel.

The Champs AGAIN 88.80
McLoving Reggie Bush 107.95

Randy may have edged Scott out in this week’s matchup, but Scott might have been the big winner at the end of the day Monday night landing “Big Game” Adrian Peterson along with Jay Cutler from Need More Squirrel in exchange for Joseph Addai, Willie Parker, and Steve Smith. Tony Romo and Reggie Bush led the way for Randy who now goes to 3-3 on the year but at a very high cost. Mcloving Reggie Bush QB Tony Romo is now out for a month after taking a punishing blow that eventually led to a Cowboy’s blocked punt TD and a loss. Scott is now also 3-3 on the season after this loss but the end of day trade could put Scott in a great position heading into the playoffs…if he can sneak in.

JacksSmirkingRevenge 158.20
River Rats 181.40

If you would have told me that one team would put up 158.20 points this week and still lose I would have bet the house against you. It’s a good thing that I don’t have a home or a mortgage for that matter because I would be living out of a card board box right now. Brandon was able to post one of the highest scores not only this week, but for the season as well with 158.20 points and still managed to lose this game to Mike and the River Rats who posted a ridiculous 181.40. Marian Barber and Thomas Jones combined for 4 TD scores for Brandon, while Philip Rivers, Clinton Portis, and Andre Johnson put up unimaginable numbers for Mike. Can you say ‘Juggernaut’? I’m afraid to play both after this week’s showings; in fact I even picked Brandon to beat me this week in week 7.

The Jew Crew 141.90
Team Ramrod 85.20

Fast forward to July 2009, “With the first selection in the 2009 Beer and Football on Sundays league draft, Shawn selects (fill in with top player for ’09). It’s starting to look that way for Shawn. He pretty much has to win out the remainder of the season to backdoor his way into the playoffs. All I can say is thank god he took Tom Brady because I wasn’t letting him slip by me with the next pick. How the hell did Kyle post a 141.90 with a team of scrubs and jack squat out of Amani Toomer? The Jew is now in good position for a playoff spot with a 3-3 record and Shawn is now 1-5 on the year and pretty much the closest thing that we have for a lottery pick for next year’s draft.

Week 6 Predictions

Because the Jew likes reading my projected winners so much, I decided to start taking a crack at all the games this week.

Optimus Prime vs. Need More Squirrel

Projected Winner: Optimus prime

After a tough loss last week, my team WILL rebound this week. I’m predicting big weeks for Santana Moss and Drew Brees after disappointing weeks for both last week.

Afternoon Sex Break vs. I Heart Porn

Projected Winner: Afternoon Sex Break

See featured matchup post.

THE JEWBAGS vs. Irish

Projected Winner: THE JEWBAGS

Terrell Owens against Arizona for Moniz. Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, and Anthony Gonzalez against Baltimore for Clint. Enough said.

The Champs AGAIN vs. McLoving Reggie Bush

Projected Winner: McLoving Reggie Bush

I know my brother is going to be pissed for picking against him again but Randy is consistently at the top in points scored. Look for Steve Slaton and Michael Turner to be busts this week (Sorry Scott).

JacksSmirkingRevenge vs. River Rats

Projected Winner: River Rats

I love Mike’s RB matchups this week but Donovan McNabb could make things interesting this week in this matchup.

The Jew Crew vs. Team Ramrod

Projected Winner: The Jew Crew

Another potential sloppy sex matchup so I picked this one by flipping a coin (in which the Jew proceeded to steal after it hit the ground). I’m hoping Shawn pulls off the upset here to make things really interesting.

Week 6 Featured Matchup

This week’s featured matchup is:

Afternoon Sex Break (2-3) vs. I Heart Porn (2-3)

Projected Scores: Big C (111.10) – CJ (96.01)

CJ looks to carry the momentum into week 6 after knocking off the top two teams within the last two weeks while Conan looks to go balls deep with another @$$ raping. This should be an interesting Sunday filled with violent text messages.

Projected Winner: Afternoon Sex Break

I’m sorry about I absolutely hate the matchups this week for I Heart Porn. In fact, I don’t expect this one to be even close. LT is obviously playing with a toe that’s more banged up than he and the chargers are leading on. Eddie Royal is at best a game time decision and the explosive factor is most likely gone with a f’d up ankle. I recently looked up “Interception” in the dictionary the other day and here’s what it said: Interception – (noun) – Detroit Lions starting quarterback Jon Kitna. And I don’t expect Edgerrin James to see a lot of work this week in what will probably be a shootout with Dallas. I won’t even go there with Braylon Edwards this season. I wanted to pick I Heart Porn this week because I hate Moss and Gates this week with their teams squaring off Sunday and Aaron Rogers is a big question mark with his shoulder injury this week. But CJ’s matchups are even worse. This game could end up being like sex with a fat chick…..sloppy.

Week 5 Results

More upsets and surprises in week 5. Here is a recap of all the action.

Kyle Doesn't Know 123.80
River Rats 157.55

In this week’s featured matchup, Mike rebounded from a tough loss last week to gain a share of first place this week with a win over Kyle Doesn’t Know. Thank you Mike for helping me improve to 3-2 on the season with my 3rd straight projected pick.

Time2MakeTheDonuts 103.50
I Heart Porn 111.85

I’m still waiting for Santana Moss to do something this week. What the hell happened to MegaTron? An awful week for my team especially when your opponent’s TE is sitting on the bench and LT puts up under 3 points. CJ now has his longest winning streak in 2 years (2 games) and is no longer sitting at the bottom.

The Jew Crew 145.70
McLoving Reggie Bush 161.30

Randy posted high score this week and now leads the league in points but still is somehow 2-3 in the standings. Things look to get worse for the Jew as Brian Westbrook now has 2 broken ribs and still no clear cut choice for a QB.

Afternoon Sex Break 133.35
Irish 104.85

One simple text message that I received from Big C on Monday morning describes how this matchup went. “Tell Clint I won’t even charge for his curb stomping this week.” Clint – Big C says “Hi”.

THE JEWBAGS 119.50
The Champs AGAIN 123.10

Scott’s RB tandem of Steve Slaton, Michael Turner, and Joseph Addai catapult him into contention with a 3-2 record while Moniz falls to 2-3 on the year.

JacksSmirkingRevenge 86.00
Team Ramrod 74.00

And finally, in the Ugly Bowl this week, Brandon comes out on top of this who wants to lose more matchup. Brandon moves to 3-2 and Shawn…well….better luck next season buddy.

Week 5 featured matchup

I’m tired as f*ck and a little bit hung over this morning. With that being said, let’s take a look at this week’s featured matchup.

Kyle Doesn’t Know (3-1) vs. River Rats (3-1)

Projected Scores: Milton (127.81 – Mike (114.28)

The winner will have sole position of 2nd place and possibly a tie for 1st depending on the outcome of the Time2MakeTheDonuts / I Heart Porn matchup.

Projected Winner: River Rats

On paper, everything is telling me to pick AP and Kyle Doesn’t Know. In fact, all week long I have picked Milt’s team to win this week. But after sitting here in my cubicle, bored as f*ck, I’ve been breaking down the matchups and I think I like Mike’s team to pull it out this week. Here’s my theory on this. I love the AP matchup against an awful Saints front 7 this week. Not to mention that running the ball is the only positive thing that the Vikings can do on offense. I also like the Eli Manning matchup against a heavily overrated Seahawks team (which might be one of the worst teams in the league in my opinion). Not to mention the fact that Eli is playing his way into a must start option every week for fantasy football. I don’t like the Correll Buckhalter matchup against the Skins this week. After beating Dallas last week, I think I am ready to jump on the Skins bandwagon. I think this game will turn into another shootout with the last team to score wins. Derrick Ward is a tough call. You never know what you’re going to get out of any Giants RB with a trio of backs getting touches. On the opposite side, Phillip Rivers will throw at least another 3 tds this week against peewee football Miami Dolphins (I have a feeling that LT will sh*t on my team this week). Matt Forte is facing the Lions defense and we all know what happens when any team faces the Lions defense. I like the Texans to pull off the upset this week and beat the Colts and I think Andre Johnson along with Steve Slaton will be a big part of that. Not to mention that Patrick Willis is good for at least 12 fantasy points a week which is absolutely absurd for a defensive player. So my pick is locked in, I am flip flopping, going against the numbers, and picking the River Rats to win this week. Come talk to me on Tuesday when my 3rd projected winner in a row is locked up. At that point I will be applying at ESPN for a Fantasy Guru Columnist position.

Week 4 Results

A couple of blowouts and a HUGE upset in week 4. And this just in….The Cowboys SUCK!!! Let’s take a look at all the action.

Kyle Doesn't Know 127.35
My Team Sucks 104.55

I am on a hot streak right now predicting the winners of the weekly featured matchups, going to 2-2 on the year. Now that the irrelevant is out of the way, let’s get to what really matters. Jay Cutler and AP led the way for Kyle Doesn’t Know and lift Milton into a tie for 2nd place. My Team Sucks falls to 1-3 and the draft lottery for next season is starting to look good right about now.

JacksSmirkingRevenge 93.75
JEW-UNIT!! 87.75

Brandon edges out Kyle in what you could call the 2nd game of this week’s featured matchup. The running game helps Brandon improve to 2-2 on the year. The Jew falls 2-2 on the year and is still struggling to find a QB. Kyle - nice trade you offered Scott (Ricky Williams/Hines Ward for Michael Turner/Lavarneus Coles).

Afternoon Sex Break 85.75
The Champs AGAIN 136.30

Big C let Scotty peanut butter him up with an ass-kicking from The Champs AGAIN. Who knew that Lavarneus Coles would catch 3 TD passes from…wait for it…wait for it…BRETT FAVRE who was left on the bench this week by Afternoon Sex Break in place of Aaron Rodgers who threw 3 picks and left with a shoulder injury. This was Big C’s ‘get my face broken’ week anyway. Scott goes to 2-2 on the year while Big C falls to 1-3.

THE JEWBAGS 162.95
McLovin needs help! 138.10

A tough loss to swallow this week for Randy. If he faces almost anybody else this week, he most likely wins. Instead THE JEWBAGS put up a monster score thanks to Larry Johnson, Greg Jennings, and Jason Campbell. I have to admit I was wrong about Campbell. He seams to be finding is own in the west coast offense. Moniz goes to 2-2 while Randy goes to 1-3 on the year.

Time2MakeTheDonuts 136.65
Irish 83.00

All I have to say about this matchup is…I WIN!!! NA NA NA NA NA NA HA HA HA HA HA HA! My team remains in 1st place going to 4-0 on the year while Clint falls to 2-2.

I Heart Porn 149.85
River Rats 115.70

I saved this game for last because this was probably the biggest upset of the week. CJ picks up his first win this week in almost a year since joining the league last year while Mike falls a game back out of 1st place. LT finally did what LT is supposed to do, and 2 TDs from Edgerrin James is not that shabby either. Any TDs scored from Mike’s wide outs and/or running backs and this matchup would have been a nail biter. Mike falls to 3-1 on the year while CJ goes to 1-3 and is back in contention for a playoff spot.

Week 4 Featured Matchup

Here is this week’s featured matchup.

Kyle Doesn’t Know (Milton) vs. My Team Sucks (Shawn)

Projected Scores: Milton (118.60) – Shawn (106.04)

It was a coin flip between this game and JacksSmirkingRevenge/JEW-UNIT!! matchup.

Projected Winner: Kyle Doesn’t Know

Jay Cutler will shred the KC defense and the deciding factor this week could be whether or not Adrian Peterson can get it going against the #1 rush defense in the league while on the road at Tennessee. Antonio Bryant also could be targeted 25 times after Brian Griese threw 67 times last week.

Week 3 Results

A week filled with upsets to go along with the Pats/Dolphins shocker. Here’s the breakdown.

Time2MakeTheDonuts 135.65
The Champs AGAIN 118.90

Michael Turner and Joseph Addai both put up huge numbers but it was not enough to take down myself and Time2MakeTheDonuts. I improve to 3-0 on the season, 1-2 in my projected picks, while Scott falls to 1-2 on the season. No doubt a rough two weeks for Scotty.

Kyle Doesn't Know 82.20
JEW-UNIT!! 113.60

The Jew was able to pull off the upset and knock Milt back a step with his first loss of the season. AP never got it going, and outside of the league’s leading QB Jay Cutler, Kyle Doesn’t Know put up a whopping zero TD’s. Both currently sit at 2-1. At least Oliveira Plumbing is still undefeated (2-0-2).

JacksSmirkingRevenge 127.80
McLovin needs help! 129.50

It looked like Jericho Cotchery would be enough for Brandon to pull off the win this week but Randy was able to hold him off with a strong performance from Reggie “My Woman Can’t Dance But I Can Play Football” Bush. They both are currently 1-2 on the year.

Irish 91.70
River Rats 125.20

In a battle of 2 undefeated teams, one had to go home a loser this week. The River Rats won this battle of the titans leaving Irish in the hole along side Peyton Manning and the Colts. Mike remains undefeated on the year at 3-0 while Clint falls to 2-1.

I Heart Porn 98.90
My Team Sucks 112.25

Shawn pulls himself out of the hole this week leaving CJ behind with his first win of the year. Two TD’s was not enough from LT as CJ falls to 0-3 on the season. Shawn jumps to 1-2. Here is a great quote from CJ to sum up his fantasy season thus far: “F*ck this Fantasy bullsh*t. I win the free league but this f*cking league I get dominated”. No doubt a tough start for CJ, but you have to feel its only a matter of time before LT becomes LT, hurt toe or not.

Afternoon Sex Break 117.50
THE JEWBAGS 119.85

This weeks closest matchup, Matt was able to pull it out over Big C getting just enough points in the MNF game from Darren Sproles. Keep in mind Matt also left Ronnie Brown on the bench this week. Big C – I think you can thank Sammy Morris for screwing your season. With Tom Brady out, you know Moss isn’t going to put up the same numbers as last season. On top of that, watching him yesterday, he did not look like he was 100% into it as there were a few passes his way that he SHOULD have caught but only gave a half hearted attempt. “Waiter – Check please”, I think we may have seen Mr. Moss check out for the season as yesterday could be a glimpse of what’s to come for the Pats.

Week 3 Featured Matchup

Here is a look at this week’s featured matchup.

Time2MakeTheDounts (Derek) Vs. The Champs AGAIN (Scott)

Projected Scores: Derek (139.24) – Scott (125.03)

The battle of brothers continues in this week’s featured matchup. After a disappointing ousting in the baseball playoffs, Scott fell short in his bid to meet older brother Derek in the finals. Scott finally gets another crack at it in this highly anticipated matchup.

Project Winner: Time2MakeTheDonuts

Joseph Addai can not seem to get the running game going with a depleted o-line in front of him, and Scott seems to have no definitive answer at QB with Matt Hasselback and Carson Palmer, who both have been major disappointments. Derek’s team is balanced quite nicely and has posted the league’s highest score the past two weeks (Jew’s scores don’t count). Look for Scott to suffer another disappointing week.

Week 2 Results

Week 2 is in the books. Let’s take a look at all the action.

JEW-UNIT!! 146.85
I Heart Porn 74.90

This was this week’s featured matchup and after CJ and I Heart Porn suffering another devastating loss, I am now 0-2 for my projected picks this season. If you like money, don’t bet on my picks. CJ had his top week 2 point totals left on the bench while Kyle had monster games from Larry Fitzgerald and Brian Westbrook. Not time to panic yet for CJ. LT is bound to turn the corner and show everyone why he was drafted #1 overall. Well, if you own him you do anyway.

THE JEWBAGS 146.25
Time2MakeTheDonuts 146.80

In this week’s closest matchup, Time2MakeTheDonuts was able to put a damper on THE JEWBAGS strong surge. THE JEWBAGS tried to squeeze out every possible point Monday night from Terrell Owens but fell short in the end by .55 points. Let it be known that I had 40 points left on the bench from Santana Moss and got absolutely sh*t out of my TE. Somewhere I can hear Kyle laughing at Matt about his defeat.


JacksSmirkingRevenge 91.25
Kyle Doesn't Know 134.80

Another big game from AP and Milt is off to a 2-0 start. Eli Manning chipped in nicely this week with over 30 points but the ironic thing here is that 2 of Kyle Doesn’t Know QBs that were not played this week BOTH put up over 40 points. I bet Shawn is kicking himself in the ass now for not getting the waiver wire quick enough when Tom Brady went down. Brandon had a tough day all around with only getting good production out of Jonathan Stewart, who rushed for 77 yards and 2 scores.


River Rats 134.05
The Champs AGAIN 81.70

My poor poor brother. He had a disastrous all around. First, he lost out on a bid to the fantasy baseball finals after Carlos Zambrano threw a no-no for Brandon. Next, he gets destroyed by 50+ points and Mike’s River Rats walk away with an easy win this week. Carson Palmer = 2 points. Antwaan Randle El = 5 points. Michael Turner = 5 points. That right there should sum up for you what kind of day Sunday was for Scott. Mike’s DL Patrick Willis alone destroyed these 3 with 16 points by himself! Philip Rivers suffered a heartbreaking loss this week but put up great fantasy numbers for the River Rats (43.85 pts).


McLovin needs help! 142.30
Afternoon Sex Break 145.80

First off, if you haven’t checked out Afternoon Sex Break’s team logo yet on the Yahoo! page you need to do so right now before Yahoo! discovers it and takes it down. It fits Conan’s team name perfectly. Back to the matchup, this was another close call but Big C pulled one out of his ass after the biggest moron in the NFL, DeSean Jackson, decides to taunt the Cowboy crowd and drop the ball BEFORE he crossed into the end zone!!!! Randy must be kicking himself in the ass after that bone head play cost him 6 pts. Smart move on Big C’s part for starting Aaron Rogers over Brett Favre this week.


My Team Sucks 123.90
Irish 134.05

A well balanced offensive attack from Clint’s team led to the demise of Shawn’s team this week. Marian Barber and Anthony Gonzalez led the way for Irish, while Brandon Marshall alone was not enough for My Team Sucks. More bad news for Shawn this week, Justin Fargas and Laurence Maroney left their games respectively with injuries.

Week 1 Results & Week 2 Featured Matchup

An interesting day filled with upsets if you were picking winners based upon Yahoo’s fantasy projections. Clint gave Kyle the double ass slappin’ this weekend by not only ousting him 10-9 in the fantasy baseball playoffs, but beating in fantasy football as well by 19.55 points. But the biggest upset of the day was not a final score, but Shawn’s (Designated Drinkers) first round draft pick Tom Brady going down and out for the season. Thank you Shawn for taking him because I would have with the next pick if you didn’t. Here’s a recap of the week.

Afternoon Sex Break 118.70
Time2MakeTheDonuts 143.45

Big C was absolutely destroyed by my team after it looked like I was in for a long day with Randy Moss putting up 100+ yards and a TD in the first half and Brett Favre throwing an early TD bomb. But my first two picks in Frank Gore and Drew Brees left Big C with spaghetti dick and no afternoon sex break for him.

River Rats 118.85
THE JEWBAGS 98.25

A preview of what will happen to Moniz this week, Mike and the River Rats destroyed THE JEWBAGS. Matt Forte, Andre Johnson, and Phillip Rivers led the way for the River Rats while David Garrard, Larry Johnson, and Darren McFadden were big time disappointments for Moniz.

Designated Drinkers 92.20
The Champs AGAIN 136.05

Another blow out, Scott “don’t call me Lloyd even though Kyle is Harry” Berrier easily defeated Shawn and the Designated Drinkers thanks to the stellar performances of Willie Parker and Michael Turner. To make matters worse for Shawn, he lost QB Tom Brady for the season leaving Shawn’s team looking like the 2007 Miami Dolphins. Look on the bright side Shawn, there’s a good chance you could have first overall pick next year.

Je Je Je JEW-UNIT!! 113.40
Irish 132.95

Another upset, I picked the Jew to win easily in this game. If you’re a betting man, don’t ever go by my picks. Clint gave Kyle a double whammy this week by knocking him out of the baseball playoffs and spanking him in this week 1 matchup. Clint – your ass is mine this week in the baseball playoffs!

JacksSmirkingRevenge 105.45
I Heart Porn 101.35

And CJ continues his losing streak in this week 1 matchup. I don’t know what streak is longer, his fantasy football losing streak or his Madden losing streak. LT was a big bust this week for CJ while Brandon’s balanced offense was enough to hold off I Heart Porn. CJ – how’s that fumbled punt treating you? lol

McLovin Lives On! 116.40
Kyle Doesn't Know 122.65

Milton was able to pull out the win after a big time performance from Adrian Peterson last night in the MNF game. Plaxico Burress and Thomas Jones also had big games for Kyle Doesn’t Know. Randy had big games from Tony Romo and Reggie Bush but T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Steven Jackson did not hold up there end.

Week 2’s featured matchup is:

Je Je Je JEW-UNIT!!
I Heart Porn

Projected Scores: Chris (120.05) – Kyle (120.07)

This is the closest matchup of the week which is why I have selected this as this week’s featured matchup. Kyle looks to build upon his Madden winning streak against Chris and rebound from a bad week 1 loss and baseball playoff loss. CJ is looking for win # 1 and looking to get back into early contention.

Projected Winner: I Heart Porn

I have to go with CJ here, there is no way LT will have the same kind of game as week 1 and I love the Big Ben matchup against the questionable Cleveland secondary. Kyle’s QB sucks but his wide receivers, running backs, and flex position will make it hard for Chris to pull it out. But in the end I like the arm of Roethlisberger and the legs of LT to do some major damage this week.

Week 1 Matchup of the Week

Je Je Je JEW-UNIT! vs. Irish

Projected Scores: Kyle (131.23) – Clint (120.00)

On paper this may seem like a blow out but there’s a back story to this featured weekly matchup. These two are currently slugging it out in a back and forth matchup at the first round of the RedSox Nation fantasy baseball league. Also I must point out that Clint is a big time Colts fan who would like to rub the Icy Hot all over Peyton Manning’s back, while Kyle is a huge Cowgirl fan who would like to give Terrell Owens’ a *gooch massage with his tongue.

*For those of you that don’t know, a “gooch” is the area between your balls and your anus.

Project Winner: Je Je Je JEW-UNIT!

Kyle has too many matchups this week that are in his favor. I love Brian Westbrook’s matchup this week against a shaky St. Louis front, and I think Marion Barber (Irish) will have a harder time than expected getting things going in a much improved Cleveland team. That Dallas/Cleveland matchup could also turn into a gun-slinging contest which could spell D-O-O-M for Barber.

Draft Day Review

The 2008 Beer and Football on Sundays draft is now complete. Here is a recap of the draft.

Time2MakeTheDonuts
(Last season: 5-7-0, 3rd place)
Top Pick: Frank Gore
Break or Bust: Chad Johnson

After pulling out a miraculous 3rd place finish last season with a bunch of scrubs, Time2MakeThe Donuts looks to pull another upset season out of his @$$. Drafting in the 9th position, GM Derek was left with no choice but to draft Frank Gore in this position, a pick where a couple of rival GMs are very high on this season. When asked why he wasted a high round pick on injured receiver, Chad “Ocho-Cinco” Johnson, Derek replied “I’M DRUNK!” Let this be a lesson boys and girls to drink and draft responsibly.


The Champs AGAIN!
(Last season: 8-4-0, 1st place)
Top Pick: Joseph Addai
Break or Bust: Michael Turner

The reigning Beer and Football on Sundays league champion looks to repeat in 2008. GM Scott was left in a tough position drafting in the first round, where he had to make the choice of whether to draft QB Tom Brady or RB Joseph Addai, a dilemma where everyone else drafting after him would to have. The GM’s pick of Michael Turner could pay high dividends or could be a complete bust as Turner is now out of the shadow of LT and should be the featured back with the Falcons.


THE JEWBAGS
(Last season: 11-1-0, 2nd place)
Top Pick: Terrell Owens
Break or Bust: Larry Johnson

The runner-up in the Beer and Football on Sundays league last year looks to bounce back from a devastating lost in the championship game last season. The rival between THE JEWBAGS GM Matt and Je Je Je JEW-UNIT! GM Kyle grows even more fierce this season as MATT decide to spend the 10th overall pick on Terrell Owens and threaten Kyle to “bench his @$$ all season.”


Je Je Je JEW-UNIT!!
(Last season: 6-6-0, 6th place)
Top Pick: Brian Westbrook
Break or Bust: Marc Bulger

The cheapest GM in the draft will look for Brian Westbrook to carry the workload for his team this season. Marc Bulger could be a hit or miss this season, but look for GM Kyle to stick with Bulger at the QB position this season, even if he does get injured again this season, as GM Matt points out that “Kyle is too cheap and won’t spend the $.25 to pick anyone else up.” Things are going to get interesting between these two teams and I personally look forward to their match up in Week 10.


I Heart Porn
(Last season: 1-11-0, 8th place)
Top Pick: LaDainian Tomlinson
Break or Bust: Marvin Harrison

It was a tough inaugural season for GM CJ and his team and with this years top pick in the draft, CJ will look to finish the year on the other side of the standings. CJ surprised a lot of GMs with his pick of LT, which would seem like a no-brainer to most, but his man love for Tom Brady led everyone to believe that the patriots Golden Boy would be the 1st overall pick. In the end CJ decided to go with the “Sexy RB.”


Afternoon Sex Break
(Last season: 4-8-0, 7th place)
Top Pick: Randy Moss
Break or Bust: Brett Favre

The most daring GM in the draft, GM Conan surprised everyone selecting WR Randy Moss with the 2nd overall pick in the draft, and early round selection of TE Antonio Gates. After Time2MakeTheDonuts GM Derek selected QB Drew Brees in the 2nd round, Big C was left with no other choice but to express his man crush and draft QB Brett Favre in a later round. Big C from the sunny state of FL, will look to silence his critics this season (mainly Matt), and show he knew what he was doing with a top finish this season.


Kyle Doesn’t Know
(Last season: DNP)
Top Pick: Adrian Peterson
Break or Bust: Thomas Jones

GM Milton joins Beer and Football on Sundays this season with his team “Kyle Doesn’t Know” and almost started the season out with a scare as he was only able to join the draft seconds before the 1st overall pick. It came without any shock to GM Derek that Milton passed on Brady and Addai with the 3rd overall pick and selected “Big Game” Adrian Peterson. RB Thomas Jones could be a hit or miss this season, depending if the Big Green will shy away from the running game and let Brett Favre be the gun slinger that he is. But when it’s all said and done, Thomas Jones will need to score more than 2 touchdowns this season, especially with the ground game where he only recorded 1 last season. On paper, this could be one of the top teams to beat this season.


Irish
(Last season: DNP)
Top Pick: Marion Barber
Break or Bust: Earnest Graham

GM Clint joins Beer and Football on Sundays this season with his team “Irish” and left a couple GMs with a bad taste in their mouths the other day when he revealed to them that he is in fact a Colts fan. Marian Barber looks to get the majority of the carries for the Cowboys, which could be big for Irish, but how will the increased work load affect Barber over the long hall? Only time will tell, and with the Cowboys 1st round pick Felix Jones breathing down his neck, Barber could be splitting time…again. The big question with Irish will be if RB Earnest Graham can repeat his out of left field dominant performance from last season and build upon his 10 TD campaign.


McLovin Lives On!
(Last season: DNP)
Top Pick: Tony Romo
Break or Bust: Reggie Bush

GM “Big Rand” Randy joins Beer and Football on Sundays this season with his team “McLovin Lives On!.” Randy will be relying on Tony Romo (or as Matt calls him “Tony Homo) to pave the way for his offense. Reggie Bush will be in what some are considering a make or break year after a dismal performance last season when the RB reigns were given to him on a silver platter when RB Deuce McAllister went down early in the year for the season.


River Rats
(Last season: DNP)
Top Pick: Clinton Portis
Break or Bust: Kellen Winslow

GM Mike joins Beer and Football on Sundays this season with his team “River Rats.” RB Clinton Portis will receive the majority of the workload this season for the Skins which could pay provide a strong foundation for the River Rats. Can Kellen Winslow repeat his dominant performance from the TE spot this season? Only time will tell, but with Winslow playing with a torn labrum last season, a healthy Winslow could mean big things for Mike and the River Rats.


Designated Drinkers
(Last season: DNP)
Top Pick: Tom Brady
Break or Bust: Dwayne Bowe

GM Shawn joins Beer and Football on Sundays this season with his team “Designated Drinkers.” QB Tom Brady fell all the way to the #8 spot in the draft and Shawn was able to snatch him up before he fell to Derek at the #9 spot. There is no way Brady can top last season’s performance but a 30-35 TD season is well in reach. The question that remains is how banged up really is Brady’s foot and what is his offense line going to look like with injuries to Matt Light and Stephen Neal. I like the pickup of WR Dwayne Bowe but the Kansas City offense has looked absolutely brutal this preseason and how much Bowe will factor in with it being that bad remains to be seen. Shawn’s best move thus far was changing Kyle’s desktop wallpaper from a picture of Terrell Owens to a picture of Tom Brady. Way to go, Shawn.


JacksSmirkingRevenge
(Last season: DNP)
Top Pick: Marshawn Lynch
Break or Bust: Jamal Lewis

GM Brandon joins Beer and Football on Sundays this season with his team “JacksSmirkingRevenge.” At the # 12 position, drafting Marshawn Lynch could be another absolute steal for Brandon. On paper, this looks like the team to beat this season. The big question with JacksSmirkingRevenge will be can Jamal Lewis do it again this season? Will the injury suffered this preseason linger into the regular season and can Jamal Lewis put up the numbers he did last season? Or will he go back to looking like he did in his final days with the Ravens?

Draft Order Set

The draft order has been completed as of Saturday, August 23 at 1:00pm. Draft order was completed by Mrs. Berrier, picking names out a hat, and verified by Kyle, Scott, and myself. With that being said, here is the order we will be picking.

(Commissioner Berrier walks up to the podium)...

The 2008 Beer and Football on Sundays fantasy football draft order will be as follows:

1. I Heart Porn (CJ)
2. Afternoon Sex Break (Conan)
3. Kyle Doesn't Know (Milton)
4. MattsGayFantasies (Kyle)
5. The Champs AGAIN (Scott)
6. McLovin lives On! (Randy)
7. Irish (Clint)
8. Designated Drinkers (Shawn)
9. Time2MakeTheDonuts (Derek)
10. THE JEWBAGS (Matt)
11. River Rats (Mike)
12. JacksSmirkingRevenge (Brandon)

Good luck to everyone this season. Every transaction you make after the draft this season will cost $.25, this is what will build the pot for the person that finishes the season with the best regular season record. For instance, if you decide to drop a player and pick up another player, it will cost you $.50. The playoff winner will receive $225, runner up will receive $50, and the 3rd place winner will receive $25.

Welcome to Grid Iron Challenged

Hello everyone, and welcome to Grid Iron Challenged: Official Home of Beer and Football on Sundays fantasy football league. This will serve as the league's home for fantasy league updates, analysis, matchup previews, and everybody's favorite: TRASH TALKING!!! The draft is about a month away, and once all 12 teams are locked into the league, I will be posting a GM profile here for everyone, so check back here frequently for updates. With that being said, lets crack open that first beer of the season for the 2008-09 campaign set to begin in just a few weeks!

A special thank you to CJ (I Heart Porn), for the Photoshop work on our new League Logo.